Whitnee's journey with Christ

Have you ever gone through some “thangs?”

Did you feel like the enemy was throwing so much at you all at once and at times you couldn’t see your way out?

Did you find yourself crying out JESUS HELP ME more and more each day?

Did you find yourself asking God when would the troubles end? Or how long does this have to last?

Over the last few weeks I’ve found myself asking God “how long” or saying “Jesus help me” and I’ve found myself crying more and more lately. I told myself it was time to get out of this “funk” and it seemed like the more I tried to encourage myself and plead the blood of Jesus and speak life over my situation and circumstances the enemy kept attacking me.

I found myself in the middle of a crossroads and couldn’t seem to know which way to turn. I didn’t know my up from my down, my left from my right, I couldn’t see the beginning or the end. I was down, didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to show my face, I didn’t want to be around people, I didn’t want anyone to know what was going on.

I’m the one people come to when they have problems so I felt like I had to “hold it all together.” I held it all together alright! Almost landed myself in the hospital is what I did. Head kept hurting, ear kept ringing, chest was so tight, breathing heavily, yet all the pain didn’t amount to the emptiness I felt inside. I was so torn because how could I have let this happen to me? How could I not see the light at the end of the tunnel? Or like someone asked me “why couldn’t I just snap out of it?”

I knew God’s word so why didn’t that help me? I knew God’s promises so why didn’t that comfort me? I knew I wasn’t the only one going through things so why didn’t that encourage me; knowing I’m not alone? Why, why, why????

I would say it took me this long to write because I was ashamed of what the answer is. I was afraid I allowed the chaos of the day, the reoccurring busyness, the tiredness, the restlessness, the fear of the unknown, the anxiousness, the disappointments, etc. to cause me to loose sight. I never lost sight of who God is but I allowed these “thangs” to steal my peace.

There I said it, I didn’t cast all my cares upon the Lord who cares for me. 😔

Then Monday came and things started to shift. Not to bore you with senseless details but after sitting at work all alone Sunday evening I was able to clear my head and think better. The silence was what I needed. I just needed time for me. I just needed to be Whitnee’. It was time for many hats to come off. I couldn’t hold it together so God allowed me the time to comfortably release it all to Him.

He had been talking all along but trying to be everything for everyone I wasn’t what I needed and it was just all too much. I shut down and I shut people out. God knows my heart and my love for people and I felt so selfish because I just wanted one day for me. I didn’t get the day but God granted me sweet time with Him alone in my office. I needed it; I desperately needed it.

I learned no matter what the concern or worry is, God wants us to give it to Him. Saying we give it to God and actually doing so is a big difference. My mouth said I gave it to Him but my heart said differently. And because of this I found myself in the rut I was in. I was putting myself through torture to spare the feelings of other people when small pieces of me were “dying on the inside.” I was slipping but by the grace of God He pulled me out.

The sound was silenced. The fog was made clear. God’s power triumphed as it always does over the situation.

While the enemy plots, God allows certain things to happen but I know God will not put more on us than we can bear. You see I’m not ashamed to tell you I was almost to my breaking point. I’m not ashamed to tell you that I lost sight but never lost hope. I might not have been vocalizing it but I’ve always internalized God’s word and His promises over my life.

Yes I got caught up in all the many doors closing in my face. Let’s just keep it 💯; I got caught up in the many doors that slammed shut in my face. I couldn’t understand why one minute I “had it all together” and the next minute I’m living out of bags and wondering how much it’s going to cost me to lay my head down just for one more night.

Oh you don’t know my story but if you did then you would understand my PRAISE. You don’t know what I’ve gone through but now you know a little bit about how far God has brought me. To be in a spiritual war in the midst of a pandemic and have your home, car, money, etc. taken away from you is enough to bring the strongest man to his knees.

My knees is where God brought me. My tears is how God spoke to me and by His grace and His power it has brought me to where I am today.

Sometimes we think “we got it so good” and because things are so peaceful we let our armor down. Oh I pity the fool that lets his or her guard time in the midst of a spiritual war. Word to the wise: DO NOT BE FOOLISH. Or you’ll be like me calling Tyrone trying to see if you can come home!

“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me.
“In My Father’s house are many mansions, if it were not so, I would have told you, I go to prepare a place for you.
“And if I go and prepare a place for you: I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also.
“And where I go you know, and the way you know.”
Thomas said to Him, “Lord, we do not know where You are going, and how can we know the way?”
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

John 14:1-6

And then if you read on you will stumble across verses 12-14, it reads:

“Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works there I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do because I go to My Father.
“And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.
“If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.”

John 14:12-14

God had been preparing the road I’m traveling for quite some time. He knew every bump, hurdle, speed bump, and every curve ball that would come my way. He knew how I would react and when I needed the help from the Holy Spirit. He sent His angels to comfort me, He gave me His word to reassure me, He gave me trials to test my faith, He gave me friends who didn’t need to know the details to know “something wasn’t right” and He sent the love of His son to rescue me from myself. Now if not a reason to shout GLORY HALLELUJAH!!!!!!

I’ve got my peace back! Truth be told it never hid its face from me but I allowed the feelings of just being overwhelmed and tired to loose sight of things.

Sunday afternoon it started turning around. The headache lifted, my ear stopped ringing, the distractions were no longer an issue, I COULD THINK AGAIN!! Things started to fall into place because I cast my fears on the Lord.

For homework tonight I want you to read and recite John 14:25-31.

I would like for you to write one positive affirmation and put it in a place that you can see and recite for the rest of the week. And when you are finished with this I want you to take a praise break and listen to this song. I pray it encourages you as much if not more as it has truly encouraged me. God used my sister to comfort me by sending this songClick here and she doesn’t realize it was just in the box of time. Ain’t God good. Go tell your neighbor!

P.S. TROUBLE DON’T LAST ALWAYS! THE STORM WILL PAST!!! HOLD ON, PRAY AND ASK GOD FOR STRENGTH AND PRAISE HIM IN THE MIDST OF YOUR TRIAL, KEEP THE FAITH, ENDURE TIL THE END! 🙏🏾