Whitnee's journey with Christ

The night it finally soaked in that my dad had passed on and I remembered thinking to myself that I was going to live life to the fullest. I had a whole list of things on my bucket list that I wanted to accomplish. It’s like my biological clock started ticking faster and faster and I felt like my time was running out.

In my mind if my dad who was a super hero in my eyes passed away then maybe it was only a matter of time before God called me home. I truly started living every day like my last. Sometimes I took that too vicariously and didn’t save for a rainy day; I wasn’t thinking about my future- at one point I was so lost without my dad that I didn’t want a future.

But then my love for God grew. He filled the hole that my dads death left. Then he sent me Rico. I’ll never forget we were sitting at his Aunt Shell house and I had just cooked our breakfast. I knew how to cook but I will admit I was HORRIBLE at cooking grits but Rico loved my grits or pretended to not to hurt my feelings. They were so thick and lumpy but he ate them with a smile. He asked me for my hand in marriage.

He had mentioned he had gotten my dads blessing before he left this world. He knew that I could never be with someone my daddy didn’t approve of but he loved Rico just like a son. In fact he even called him his son. Daddy gave his blessing in April 2007, passed away in May 2007, and Rico and I were married in September 2007.

Things happened so quickly. It was a blur. A happy blur!

Before we knew it we welcomed our first baby boy Micah in 2008. He was the joy of my life and Rico was my sunshine! I was in love! I was happy! Years went by and God blessed us with two more, Emmanuel and William despite doctors telling me I could never conceive again.

Having children your focus changes, your priorities change, you center the places you live, what kind of car you buy, what you purchase from the grocery store, the type of laundry detergent around what is best for your children.

With the responsibilities of being a mother, a full time employee, a full time student a few times some child birth; like I said yesterday it’s easy to loose sight of self. You pour out so much to your family you forget to take time out for self. You forget all the dates, the places, the time, the endless conversation, and everything that made you fall in love with your spouse in the first place.

I hear so many couples say they have date night once a month, they have go out for lunch once a week, or they do something to stay focused on each other.

As I sat last night wanting to talk about something other than this, God pressed me until I wrote these very words. We have to make the most of our time.

I’m going to confess my faults and be blunt with you all: I let the ball drop. Wearing so many hats I unintentionally took off one of the most important hats of them all; an available wife.

The dates stopped, the lunches ceased, the kind words affirming my love for Rico faded. I thought he knew but I didn’t take the time to simply say them. Saying I love you was simply not enough. Sadly, I got a glimpse of what life could be without my rock, my heart beat, my sunshine on a cloudy day, my protector, my soul mate. It hurt.

Time stood still. I found myself not eating right, not sleeping, not smiling, just going through the motions. I found myself crying all day but hiding my tears. I found myself telling folks “I’m ok but knowing I’m torn up on the inside.” I buried myself in work and trying to help others while trying to figure out the words to help myself. I figured I would just take it to God and He would help guide me. He did which brings me to the reason I’m writing today’s message.

Don’t wait until the kids are gone from home to start making time for your spouse. Don’t wait until someday because you may wake up and it’s too late.

This message is not meant for you to iron out the thoughts on my marriage but to encourage you to cherish love while you can TODAY! To grab your husband, your wife, your boyfriend or girlfriend love and kiss on them and tell them they mean the world to you and don’t ever let them go. That’s what I plan to do with mine- everyday God blesses me with breath.

I’ll laugh louder, love harder, and cherish every moment. I’ll never stop showing I love him not just saying it. I’ll enjoy the moment, the flirting, the teasing, and all the love and joy that comes from the bond of marriage and the gift from God.

Let us love more until the joy of being in love hurts (not literally). I pray this helps you not make the same mistake I’ve made and if you have I pray this will allow you to ask God and your spouse for forgiveness.

I don’t know about you but I’m going to make the most of the time we have together; if it’s only for one night.

DISCLAIMER: Because I write about my journey in real time the topics are subject to change. Prayerfully my honesty will help you on your journey. If it’s not time you need spent with a spouse God can be using the message to turn your attention to Him more. That relationship is MOST IMPORTANT and is the center to every long lasting relationship between lovers.