Whitnee's journey with Christ

Economic disparities. Social injustices. Marginal inequalities. Poverty. Generational curses. Mental illness. Heartache. Systems created to hinder or oppress. Negativity. Poor self image. These are just a few examples of what can make a person feel trapped. In definition, to be trapped means to prevent someone from escaping from a place. Is there something or someone holding you back? How do you plan to escape the trap or are you content with being stuck?

When I was a little girl I felt trapped in my own body. I had very low self esteem because after 5th grade I picked up weight and my neck became darker. I hid in turtle necks, jackets, and scarves. As I got older I disguised my insecurities with fashion but underneath the surface, I secretly hated my own skin. I wanted to have flawless skin like the other girls, perfect teeth (without a gap) like the other girls, and I wanted to be free to wear skirts, shorts, and tank tops without my thighs touching, stretch marks showing, or big legs being out. I was truly uncomfortable and sometimes it still bothers me.

It bothered me that in 100 degree weather I wore jean jackets. I’d rather sweat than show my imperfections. I got tired of being trapped so I decided to make a change. I became mindful of the things that I shouldn’t eat and dispute the knee injury; I found exercises that I could do with ease. I joined the gym. I started eating healthier and “cheating in moderation.” I took control of my body and realized I had to shift my mindset before anything else could change.

During my teenage years I was trapped in what most of you would call procrastination. For the life of me I couldn’t find the energy to do anything on time. I was constantly running behind and that created unhealthy work habits, created tension and unnecessary panic when it came to school assignments, and almost made me miss out on the opportunity to go to college. Thank God I grew out it (thank God for calendars).

After becoming a young adult, I was trapped in a system that was meant to oppress a certain economic class. It was good getting SNAP benefits and being a housing choice recipient but when I tried to apply for better paying jobs, in essence I was penalized. I couldn’t understand in how wanting to make more money but still not making enough to feed our growing family, I was cut off. I had to make the decision to stay in the job where I was making minimum wage and receiving assistance that I would otherwise not be able to afford or apply for a better job and struggle.

No matter how many other traps I fell into by accident or as a result of a bad decision, I couldn’t escape. The worse trap of all was not choosing to allow God to provide the freedom only He is capable of giving. At one point in my life I had to be in control but I paid the price. Through years of struggle, heartache, and fighting anxiety I realized I am not in control of anything besides the choices I made. Through prayer, fasting, fighting through adversity, and asking God for forgiveness with the renewal of mind- God helped me leave that treacherous place.

There is no greater love than God’s love. He is holding out His hand and is willing to rescue us. He rescued me from procrastination, anxiety, low self esteem, economic disparities, oppressive government systems, negative outlooks, and overthinking. God replaced it with love, joy, happiness, peace, and purpose.

I know I’ve said it before but I feel like I have to share this with someone who needs it: only God can pull you out of that dark place, that place that keeps you feeling deserted and alone, that place that keeps you bound, that place that makes you feel inferior to others or not worthy, that place that distracts you from God’s purpose and plan for your life. Weed can’t help, cigarettes can’t help, the liquor bottle, pornography, drugs, or pills.

Is this message for you? Psalm 107:13 says, they cried out to the Lord in their troubles, and He saved them out of their distresses. The songwriter said 🎶 Come to Jesus, come to Jesus, come to Jesus just now. Just now oh Lord, just now, come to Jesus just now. 🎶

I was to conclude with a song that I heard yesterday at work (thanks Jasmine) that used to really provide the “good cry” and encouragement I needed to hold on and to be strong despite came my way. It is my prayer it to will help you, we’ve got to be ready. Alright it’s time to break free. We are safe in His arms and no longer bound.