God has chosen you and made you his holy people. He loves you. So always do these things: Show mercy to others; be kind, humble, gentle and patient. Do not be angry with each other, but forgive each other. If someone does wrong to you, then forgive him. Forgive each other because the Lord forgave you. Fo all these things; but most important, love each other. Love is what holds you all together in perfect unity.
Colossians 3:12-14
Growing up in the South it is custom that every summer, Holiday, funeral, important family meeting, or even just family dinners be held at Grandma’s house. Grandma is the pillar in the black community- in other words Grandma was the glue. I don’t know about your family, but in my family my Grandma on my mom’s side had a “bunch of children,” and that was the basis of what started our family dynamics. Out of all of my Grandma kids, “there was always that one!”
Every summer Regis and I were shipped down to my Grandma’s house. Grandma lived in the country aka Vance, South Carolina. Vance is located inside of Orangeburg County as is close to Holy Hill, Eautawville, And Santee. We spent our summers with cousin Jason, Melissa, later on Tasha and with Aunt Tal, Bess, Aunt Mattie, Jacqueline, Uncle Suga, Robert, Bobby, my favorite Uncle George, and the list goes on.
Like every family we had the mischievous cousin, the mean cousin, the fun cousin, the adventurous cousin, the mean aunt, the cool aunt, the stylish aunt, the mean uncle, the uncle that loved to have his “drank or two,” and then the cousins and aunts and uncles that lived in Columbia like Sister, Uncle Tommy, Meg and others that we got to see more often that just summers, funerals, and holidays.
We never were alone, we never felt like we were missing anything, and by the looks of this belly of mine, you could tell we never missed a good ole country style meal.
Grandma would cook bacon, liver pudding, onion sausage, homemade biscuits, salmon, country ham, grits…and let’s not get started on lunch and dinner. I mean Grandma would have the birds chirping in the morning that food was so good. I was always the first one in the kitchen and depending on how Grandma felt, the last one to leave. I loved Grandma’s cooking and my waist line shows it til this day 😂!
Jason, Tasha and Melissa were older than me and Regis was the ring leader. We always found something to get into. I remember Melissa used to do my hair and dare me to cry, she used to be rough but had my hair slayed y’all! Regis was the mischievous one aka bad one. I remember Melissa told me he washed my hair with bubble gum or marshmallows, one of the two. I remember he had us in the garage sniffing Granddad’s lawnmower gas, it used to smell good (Lord don’t tell me we were outside getting high at 8). There were so many things to do and places to explore growing up in the country. I thoroughly enjoyed my summers.
As I got older Grandma used to call me a “City girl,” because I got away from playing with ants and rolly pollies and didn’t like getting bit by mosquitoes and the aggravating flies. Nonetheless I cherish all of the fond memories I have and I thank God for the memories I have of all my loved ones.
Grandma, Granddad, Sister, Uncle Jr., Uncle George, Uncle Suga, Aunt Mattie, Uncle Bobby, momma and daddy and more have all gone home to be with the Lord but those memories have never left me. Thank you Lord for allowing me to wake up in my right mind and still have those memories in my heart.
It wasn’t always peaches and cream don’t get me wrong. We’ve had our fights, disagreements and arguments. I remember the time Granddad came outside and told Uncle George to get the hell out of his yard. Everyone knew when Granddad used a curse word, he was furious! But Uncle George loved to get under his skin. He would come over so loud and disorderly after downing several beers and probably a pint of that gin, Uncle George loved him some gin and orange juice lol! This particular day my Granddad had had it and he was not fooling around with Uncle George. Grandma came outside with the frying pan, and it wasn’t to cook no eggs sunny side up either, if you know what I mean.
The phone rang and Grandma went back inside to answer it with the sweetest voice. Who would have known she was about to knock some sense into Uncle George with a frying pan a few minutes earlier. And to make matters worse, she just hit Melissa with the fly swatter for sucking her teeth. But no one saw that side of sweet Deaconess Annie Bell Davis, lol, nope only us!
Was your Grandma like that?
In your family, who was your one?
- Grandma was the glue
- Aunt Dolly aka my momma was the cool one
- Sister was the stylist one
- Bess was the mean one that everyone knew not to mess with but respected and looked up to
- Tal was the one we all went to
- Melissa was the pretty and smart one
- Tasha was the cool and fun one
- Regis was the bad one
- Uncle Melvin was the mean and quiet one
- Uncle Tommy was the nice one
- Meg was the one who everyone loved and wanted to be around
- Uncle Ralph aka my daddy was the funny one
- Uncle George was the one who was the handy man and jack of all trades but loved his bottle(s).
I loved going to Uncle George house, he lived across the dirt road by my Grandma’s house. For a little while he lived with us in Columbia. We would stop by the three red dot store and Uncle George would get his brown paper bag and then we would head to the Chinese restaurant and eat until we were full as a tick. He was my eating partner, my play with ants partner, he was the one I would sit and read the Bible to, as he was the fun one…I loved me some Uncle George. I didn’t always like the way his breath smelled (still can’t stand the smell of beer t this day) but I loved him so. He was my one!
Again I ask you, who was your one? Who was the drunk? Who was the cool one? Who was the one everyone suspected did drugs but could never prove it? Who was the party animal? Who was the leader? Who were the followers? Who were the cooks? Who were the ones who only needed to bring a bag of ice and potato chips? Who was the one with the fancy Cadillac and expensive clothes? Who was the one always getting in trouble? Who was the one?!
As I got older, my family composition grew outside of my birth family. I spent so much time with Faith’s family that folks like Mark, Deanna, Tim, Christopher, Dominique, Sean, Mike, Mrs Cheryl, Ms Tu, Ms Olivia, Shawn and all of them became family.
Deanna could cook, Lord knows that woman could cook! Mark was the jack of all trades. Tim was one of the cool ones but in and out of trouble. Dominique was the cousin we looked up to, wise beyond her years but still cool you know?! Sean was the preacher boy. Ms Olivia was the stern one and Mrs Cheryl was the funny, hip and cool one. Mike was the one who was always getting into something and was often missing in action but when he came around, he lit up the room with his lies, stories, humor, and more!
Like my Uncle George, Sister, momma and daddy…many of these Deanna, Mark, Mrs Olivia, Ms Tu, Johnny and as of yesterday afternoon Mike have all gone home to be with the Lord.
Getting the message from Faith on yesterday that Mike had just passed away made me sick to my stomach, I mean I was truly heartbroken. I was already feeling some type of way since Sunday trying to process my own emotions as we reflect on the anniversary of my dad’s passing, 18 years ago in just a few days.
On my way to Faith’s house yesterday I prayed and asked God to remove my anxiety, my overthinking and my own personal grief over my dad so that I could be present and available for her. God answered my prayers. The drive, the talk, the laughs, her tears, and the walk up the hill to go to the hospital together were all apart of God’s plan. He knew I would need help and He knew Faith did not need to take that walk alone, so she allowed us to come together.
It’s beautiful how the Bible puts emphasis on family and the importance of having healthy relationships forgiving others, reconciling when needed, loving always, respect, support, unity, overcoming differences, etc.
Today’s post is dedicated to the Daniel’s family. I know the loss of Mike has dampened your spirits and left a hole in this space where his smile and infectious laugh used to fill the room. I know the silence of not hearing, “Faith what you want to eat” or hearing his power scooter coming around the corner will be missed but yesterday I’m sure he smiled and laughed and walked upright as he walked into Heavens gate. Mike get your rest and have my Adirondack chairs waiting for me when I get there! Tell Mark, Deanna, Sister, Grandma, Uncle George, momma and daddy and all of them I love them, I’ll miss them, and I’ll see them one great morning.
Michael Daniels was that one! Funny story: One day I came over to Faith’s house and we all went to Big Lots. Mike knew his sister was struggling financially as she provides solely for her kids alone, he wanted to help. So Mike did what Mike does; he went in the store and came out and made it “Christmas in July.” He had deodorant, body wash, forks and spoons, laundry detergent, I even think Mike had a smoke alarm lol. He asked me if I wanted something and I said, “yep I want some Adirondack chairs.” He replied sarcastically and said, “let me borrow your truck I’ll get you all the Adirondack chairs you want.” I quickly replied no because I was not about to one of his victims where I’m looking for Mike to return my truck and he is no where to be found.
Like all of us, he had his ways but his heart was pure! He never wanted to see anyone down or hurting, he always tried to lift folks up. He always wanted to make you smile, laugh, or just be happy! He always had stories for days. Mike told us that he was a veteran and I’m like I never knew you served, he would say how you think I got my leg blown off. Im over here cracking up now. He just knew he was God’s gift to woman.
Although he often called me his little sister, one day Mike was on that cinnamon ball and feeling really good and tried to make a pass at me. I remember he was like, “A Whitneé you still want those Adirondack chairs?” I replied yes. He goes on to say, If I go out with him then he will get me the chairs. Mike knew I was married so I told him I was going to tell Rico. He said, “Bump a Rico, I’ll take my prosthetic leg off and beat Rico with his ole peanut head.”
We laughed and I let it go. Later on he asked if we were straight and said he didn’t mean any harm and was just having fun. That was Mike. I will miss that silly guy!
Moral of today’s devotional message: Love, respect, cherish, forgive, care, nurture, and support your family (born into, given, and welcomed into)…you never know when we will take our last breath. You never know when will be the last time you will see that person so learn to forgive and let go. None of us are perfect. Work on your families ties and create those bonds. We are all we got!
I love y’all!
Get your rest Michael Daniels 🕊️
As these days that have passed by are not easy…I see Michael all around me. I see him in every powered wheel chair that I see coming down the street only it’s not him. I see him at the bus stations. I hear him in laughter and talk. I see him when I see the dove soaps. I see him when I see an Adirondack chair. I remember our conversation must of been last year. Well Faith I have cancer. So just know that my spirit will be out but I will still be here you just cant see me. And me not really taking him seriously because of who he is…and this happens maybe 7 or 8 months later. You never really know how to take Michael on…whether if he was telling the truth that is. Michael loves a good laugh. He loved to be the center of attention telling jokes…and that was who he was…He would talk to anyone especially if you would listen….I would pray for you if you listened. Michael was so convincing at everything. He means well with what ever he is telling you…whether if he wanted a beer, a place to stay or just a plate of food….you know you would be laughing a few minutes in on the conversation. Do I have regrets…of course I do. Do I feel guilty…a little but spoke to God about it. I let my big brother stay with me and then he overstayed his welcome. Did he come back of course….and I loved him from a long handled spoon. Was I with him in the hospital of course. And he was not too far from me. I know our purpose was served. My big brother was trying to help me the best of his ability that he knew how and I learned who my big brother was and is. I loved him whole heartedly faults and all. Nothing kept him away from me no matter how harshly I may have told him the truth, but I learned something in bible study, that people would rather tell the truth vs. show grace and mercy. I learned that with Michael people would rather tell him the truth vs. to show love and send him on his way. I am guilty of the same but realized that I did show grace and mercy. My heart would always have me wondering about him and where he is at. My heart longed for him to be with me so that I know he is safe…I wonder if Annette had the same feeling sometime….but I remember this one time, Michael leaving my house and he was going to Walmart in his wheel chair. Something came over me, I watched him as he was leaving my neighborhood in his wheel chair, I had a feeling of a mother concerned for her child, like a nurturing feeling…like wanting to protect him. I ‘ll never forget that feeling. I loved Michael so and he will forever have a place in my heart. I know right now…you are in a place that we will all meet again. I know that lonely feeling is over. You have now made it to Heaven with all of everyone else. Remember the picture you took with Marc? I can only imagine y’all heavenly photo. I can’t even imagine or all the talking you are doing with everyone and meeting King Jesus. You are finally home. No more traveling to New York, Florida, Miami, NC, then back to SC, then Florence. You are welcomed by your Heavenly Family with opened arms and you are never lonely. Until we meet again. I love you Michael.
💜