{"id":1443,"date":"2021-02-08T04:33:00","date_gmt":"2021-02-08T09:33:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/inspirationallaroundme.org\/?p=1443"},"modified":"2021-02-07T20:59:47","modified_gmt":"2021-02-08T01:59:47","slug":"search-me-lord","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inspirationallaroundme.org\/index.php\/2021\/02\/08\/search-me-lord\/","title":{"rendered":"Search me Lord. (Written version)"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Growing up I was very closed minded. I thought every household consisted of a mom and dad and children. I thought every family sat at the table and ate dinner together. I thought every family loved one another. I even thought shows like Family Matters, The Cosby Show, and the Jeffersons were real families. I was very naive one would say. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It wasn\u2019t until I got older and started meeting new people that I realized not every household was like mine. Not everyone had two parents at home, not everyone sat at the table together, not everyone loved one another, and that they were all just actors. It made me sad because I didn\u2019t understand. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

That sadness turned into causing a lot of biases. Those biases turned into unintentional judgements. Those unintentional judgements turned into me being very narrow minded. So I had to expand. I had to grow. I had to explore. I had to experience life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And so I did. At times it was hard for me to comprehend certain things but as God opened my eyes to certain things; life started to make more sense. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

No matter how much bad I saw; I still saw the good in a person. I still do. I didn\u2019t hold ones mistakes against them and I\u2019m thankful God doesn\u2019t condemn me for my wrongdoings. He loves unconditionally. He forgives and He shows grace. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then one day you wake up and things are different. Your life is different, your family composition is different, the way you learn is different, the way you worship is different, the way you communicate is different, then you find out you are different. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It can be quite frightening! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psalm 139:23-24 says: Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This weekend I sat and had a lot of time to myself. I had time to think and analyze my life. I looked in the mirror and I started to not recognize myself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sometimes we get so caught up in life, we don\u2019t take time to look in the mirror. We don\u2019t take time to speak life over us and speak words of affirmation. We forget how to love ourselves in the midst of loving others. We live with our kids, our spouse, our loved ones, our friends in mind- but often times forget what it means to live for self. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve never thought of myself as a selfish person but I\u2019ve learned through a trying experience that I have to take time to groom myself, love on self, and take time out for Whitnee\u2019. I ran into a beautiful queen over the weekend and she smiled so radiantly as she spoke boldly and professed the importance of self care. I\u2019m not talking about just physical self care which I have no problem with; I\u2019m talking about mental self care and emotional self care. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunday I was able to meditate on the word of God and spend some much needed spiritual self care time. I was able to see the encouraging posts that so many beautiful people share on Instagram and Pinterest and it gave me a sense of peace because God spoke so clearly through many things I laid my eyes on. Then I received confirmation from a dear sister when she said, no one can replace me if something were to happen to me. She was right, if I\u2019m not in the best health mentally, physically, emotionally how can I be any good to anyone else?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So as I continue to internalize how my life has changed I\u2019m eager to spend more time loving on Whitnee\u2019. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

God is so good to us. He allows us to bring our inner most darkest feelings to Him and He brings such peace and understanding. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you have woken up and looking in the mirror and can\u2019t recognize yourself I would encourage you to spend more time loving on yourself. A word of advice: don\u2019t pour out all of your love; leave some for self. Most importantly remember the most important relationship is your relationship with God. When all else is said and done He is the one constant in an ever changing world. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I know the title is search me Lord because that\u2019s what I did. I had to ask God to remove any evil thoughts or anything that is not pleasing to Him. I had to confess my sins and ask for His forgiveness. I had to remember my self worth. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\u2019ve got a new attitude and I\u2019m loving it. 2021 here I AM AND I\u2019M GOING TO WALK IN GOD\u2019S PURPOSE FOR MY LIFE. You ain\u2019t seen nothing yet; the best is yet to come! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Growing up I was very closed minded. I thought every household consisted of a mom and dad and children. I thought every family sat at the table and ate dinner together. I thought every family loved one another. I even… Read moreSearch me Lord. (Written version)<\/span><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[12],"tags":[99],"class_list":["post-1443","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-identity","tag-selflove","content-layout-excerpt-thumb"],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2574,"url":"https:\/\/inspirationallaroundme.org\/index.php\/2025\/05\/06\/every-family-has-that-one\/","url_meta":{"origin":1443,"position":0},"title":"Every family has \u201cthat ONE!\u201d","author":"Whitnee","date":"May 6, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"God has chosen you and made you his holy people. 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Proud father and his little girl Before giving birth to 3 handsome little boys I always longed to have a little girl of my very\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/inspirationallaroundme.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/img_1213.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2113,"url":"https:\/\/inspirationallaroundme.org\/index.php\/2022\/10\/04\/a-prayer-of-persistence-our-blended-family\/","url_meta":{"origin":1443,"position":3},"title":"A prayer of persistence: \u201cOur blended family\u201d","author":"Whitnee","date":"October 4, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Growing up in a blended family I only saw what my parents allowed me to see. Being a child I didn\u2019t know the struggles and joys of the head of the household and his wife managing two households. 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