Last night I went to sleep looking at the Holiday Baking competition when I should have been reading the Word. I enjoy looking at baking shows and cooking shows; it\u2019s my favorite thing to do in my down time because I learn so much. Though I don\u2019t have the desire to compete, the techniques and pieces of advice I receive from watching the various shows, I often apply when I\u2019m in the kitchen trying to \u201cbe fancy!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Before I went to sleep William came in the room and asked me to twist his hair and was trying to be manipulative to say it would be good mom and son bonding time. I quickly replied he didn\u2019t care about mom and son time because when I tried to talk to him earlier when I picked him up from basketball practice he had an attitude, he didn\u2019t want to talk. He said he wasn\u2019t in the mood, and I replied I\u2019m not in the mood now. Normally that would have prompted him to leave but he sat on the edge of the bed just looking at me shaking his head. I told him again I didn\u2019t feel like twisting his hair tonight as he handed me the hot tea that I almost spilled trying to sit up. After noticing he had some scratches on his neck I asked him to get the Aquafor. Though I didn\u2019t twist his hair, we had a brief moment as mother and son! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
His skin was dry after getting out of the shower and he allowed me to rub the healing ointment on his back. In that moment it\u2019s as if my now 13 year old had turned back into my arm baby that used to love and giggle softly as I rubbed Aquafor into his skin. After finishing his back, I applied the ointment to his arms and just looked and smiled at him as we had this time together. He turned around to place his legs on my lap and just like that, the sweet moment was over. He hadn\u2019t realized he kicked my stomach but I didn\u2019t want to make him feel bad I just told him he could put lotion on his own legs. And so he did. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Instead of getting up, he sat on the bed and just looked in the mirror. Out of the blue I began to tell William the arrangements I had prepared for him, Micah, and Emmanuel. He looked deeply into my eyes and asked me if I was okay and with a soft voice I turned my head and said, \u201cyes son everything is alright!\u201d Tears ran down my face as I looked up at him, it\u2019s like he had turned into a young man overnight but in my eyes no matter if he was taller than me and started to get hair on his face, he will always be my baby. We shared a tight hug, he told me he loved me and left to go in his room. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
After I was sound asleep God sent an Angel to me in my dreams- it was my mom! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The dream: <\/strong>The boys and I were walking around in Dollar General getting a few things we needed for the house. The boys always thinking I\u2019m rich put a bunch of stuff in my buggy and on the counter. I told them to put it back because we didn\u2019t have enough for all of that and technically they didn\u2019t need it. Out of the blue my mom appeared. She didn\u2019t appear in a heavenly sense\u2026it\u2019s like she was alive and in the flesh. <\/em>She told the boys to get what they needed and don\u2019t worry about putting their stuff back because she was going to pay for it. I told my mom that wasn\u2019t necessary and she looked at me and said, \u201cWhitnee\u2019 stop it and take my card, I\u2019ll take care of it and go back and get what else you need.\u201d I walked away from my mom crying in disappointment with myself and trying to hide my tears from those walking around me. It\u2019s like the more I put stuff back the more things were in my buggy. I couldn\u2019t understand it but when I got back in line there was a crowd of customers behind me waiting to check out. I looked in my pocketbook looking for the debit card but couldn\u2019t find it and was so anxious as I looked behind me at all the people waiting on me. Next my mom placed her hand on my shoulder and handed the lady at the register my card. My mom said, \u201cWhitnee\u2019 I told you I have it.\u201d The lady at the register who just happened to be Mrs. Veronica said, \u201cSee baby what you worrying for, your momma got it.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n The 5:45 alarm went off and I woke up. I pressed the alarm trying to go back to sleep to see my mom again in the dream. I dreamt again but it didn\u2019t pick up where I left off, the dream repeated it. My mom said, \u201cWhitnee\u2019 I told you I have it,\u201d and she left. <\/p>\n\n\n\n God spoke to me beautifully through this dream just as He spoke to me through William and spoke to me earlier through Rico. <\/p>\n\n\n\n In the dream the people standing in line when I went to check out in Dollar General represented the people in the world, many will look on with nosey or impatient eyes but we must stay focused. The Lord appeared in my dream as Willia Davis telling me, \u201cWhitnee\u2019 I told you I have it.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n When I went to bed last night my heart was heavy because the enemy tried to make me slip back into my old way of overthinking. He tried to bring about a distraction that would have me questioning my faith but God knew better and He allowed me to find rest in Him. You see after 49 days of being in pain and mental discomfort, God allowed me to take a breath without having to be uncomfortable and continue to wear a \u201cdiaper.\u201d I told my sis that God told me, \u201cdon\u2019t celebrate too fast.\u201d And so when I got home last night and had abdominal pain that felt familiar from the 49 days, I began to shed tears. As I wiped my tears Rico looked and me with a stern look on his face and said, \u201ccut that out. If God carried you through these 49 days, He is going to carry you through this. Stop worrying so much, it\u2019s not going to be like before. And before you know it this will be over and you going to be okay.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n It\u2019s been very few times since Rico and I got married that he would speak to me in a stern manner. Normally he would be like my Daddy and although my Daddy stood on business, he had a way of talking to me that was mild, tender, and full of compassion. This time Rico talked to me like my mom normally would, my mom\u2019s voice could sound so cold at times though I knew she meant well. <\/p>\n\n\n\n So as I was telling Rico about my dream he said, \u201cyou know you\u2019ve been dreaming a lot about your mom and you haven\u2019t talked about Popz lately.\u201d I smiled and told him well you know I\u2019m a Daddy\u2019s girl but maybe it\u2019s because my mom\u2019s passing is more recent. Rico said, \u201cno you are a parent\u2019s girl!\u201d I quickly replied and said, no I\u2019m definitely a Daddy\u2019s girl but I guess God sent me what I needed at the moment.<\/p>\n\n\n\n What I found out while sitting here at my desk is God\u2019s reassurance that He is everything we need. His love is so BIG, it is so captivating that He will be your son, your father, your mother, and your husband and through each role, He shows you that He is all we need. <\/p>\n\n\n\n Everything I am going through and please sisters and brothers I want you to understand the message through it all, don\u2019t have pity on me or think I\u2019m sad or feeling hopeless because I am not. I have drawn closer to God in the midst of my earthly circumstances but by the grace of God, He has opened my eyes to look towards Heaven!<\/p>\n\n\n\nBut the Lord stood with me and strengthened me, so that the message might be preached fully through me, and that the Gentiles might hear. Also I was delivered out of the mouth of the lion.
And the Lord will deliver me from every evil work and preserve me for His heavenly kingdom. To Him be glory forever and ever.
Amen.
2 Timothy 4:17-18<\/pre>\n\n\n\n\u201cBehold, I have done according to your words; see, I have given you a wise and understanding heart, so that there has not been anyone like you before you, nor shall any like you arise after you.
\u201cAnd I have also given you what you have not asked: both riches and honor, so that there shall not be anyone like you among the kings all your days.
\u201cSo if you walk in My ways, to keep My statutes and My commandments, as your father David walked, then I will lengthen your days.\u201d
Then Solomon awoke; and indeed it had been a dream. And he came to Jerusalem and stood before the ark of the covenant of the Lord, offered up burnt offerings, offered peace offerings, and made a dear for all his servants.
1 Kings 3: 12-15<\/pre>\n\n\n\n