{"id":2731,"date":"2025-12-28T08:16:24","date_gmt":"2025-12-28T13:16:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/inspirationallaroundme.org\/index.php\/2025\/12\/28\/sorry-not-sorry-access-denied-in-2026\/"},"modified":"2025-12-28T08:16:24","modified_gmt":"2025-12-28T13:16:24","slug":"sorry-not-sorry-access-denied-in-2026","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/inspirationallaroundme.org\/index.php\/2025\/12\/28\/sorry-not-sorry-access-denied-in-2026\/","title":{"rendered":"Sorry not sorry- Access Denied in 2026."},"content":{"rendered":"\n
My son, give attention to my words;
Incline your ear to my sayings.
Do not let them depart from your eyes;
Keep them in the midst of your heart;
For they are life to those who find them,
And health to all their flesh.
keep your heart with all diligence,
For out of it springs the issues of life.
Put away from you a deceitful mouth,
And put perverse lips far from you.
Let your eyes look straight ahead,
And your eyelids look right before you. 
And let all your ways be established.
Do not turn to the right or to the left;
Remove your foot from evil. 

Proverbs 4:20-27<\/pre>\n\n\n\n
As we are coming to the end of 2025, I\u2019ve had some much needed time to reflect. When the phone didn\u2019t ring as much, when the email and text messages went silent and unread, and when there were no knocks at the door\u2026there was nothing but time and space to see how I was going in a downward spiral leading to burn out, resentment, and anger. As a wife, a mother, a friend, a family member, a coworker, an aunt, a caterer, a self-taught Baker and Home Chef, and all the other hats I wear; I found myself lost in all the different roles I started to fade away. Not only was my health declining but my patience was wearing out. I started going into isolation because anxiety was at an all time high, everything was getting on my nerves and I started to get overwhelmed with the pettiest and simplest of things. And like a brick, it finally hit me! While you are busy being everything to everyone, when are you going to stop and realize you forgot about Whitnee\u2019?! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
As a woman it easy to put others first. We\u2019ve been taught to serve and to give until it hurts. We\u2019ve have been conditioned to do and do and do and do some more. We work, we cook, we clean, we fix messes, we step in to fill the gap, we put out when we not in the mood (I\u2019m talking to adults here, we are all grown!), we break up fights, we put out fires, and back to that cycle\u2026we give, we do, we are UNTIL WE CANT. Is there anyone who can relate to what I\u2019m saying or is it just me? <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
I found myself in that category the last couple of months. Nah let\u2019s keep it a buck\u2026 it\u2019s been like this since early June. How many arms\/legs does an octopus have? <\/em>I needed more than 8 just to keep up. It wasn\u2019t that I had my hand in to many pots. No it wasn\u2019t the fact that I was able to work full time then come home and cook and clean before stopping by Dolly\u2019s House for donations or to help someone in need, then going to my part time after dropping the boys off to basketball practice. Then coming home staying up to prepare for a catering drop off just to sleep 2-3 hours to do it all again the next day. See God prepared me for this because in order to do the desires of my heart, fulfill my life\u2019s work and passion, I had to work on the 9-5 to be able to front the bill for Dolly\u2019s House, Spry\u2019s Durty Kitchen, and to pay the bill to keep this blog going. But y\u2019all know all of this right?! Like I said earlier, as women sometimes we just have to do what we have to do! <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
My life is not for everyone. My lifestyle is not for you, it\u2019s mine! So often I find people saying, \u201cyou doing too much\u201d or \u201cwhere your husband at\u201d or \u201cmaybe your kids need to just sit basketball or football out this season.\u201d As humans we can be so judgmental and it is very off putting to the point you are hesitant to share with others. While biting my tongue (to the point it is bleeding at times) I just shake my head and get back to the grind. The last time I checked I don\u2019t have a silver spoon in my mouth, I wasn\u2019t born rich, I\u2019m definitely black, and I have to get it out of the mud just to survive. No need to complain, such is life. And that\u2019s why I come on my devotional blog website thanking God for renewed strength, thanking Him for endurance, thanking Him for the will to fight another day. All glory goes to Him! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
But anyway back to what I was saying. It\u2019s not because of the sports, the jobs, the responsibilities of being a wife, mother, coworker, friend, etc. What I realized as I\u2019ve had time to slow down is it\u2019s the fact that I make myself TOO AVAILABLE to folks and although \u201cyou give them an inch, they surely run a mile without hesitation.\u201d Ralph Davis would always say, \u201ca person will not do but what you allow.\u201d So I noticed looking in the mirror I\u2019ve been looking broke down, busted, confused, bloated, and just a hot mess. Spare me the sentiments of Whitnee\u2019 don\u2019t talk about yourself like that. Well folks it\u2019s the truth, like it or not! <\/em>Sitting in the bed Friday literally I only got up to use the restroom, turn the light off, get my phone charger, and I might have went in the kitchen to throw something in the trash. I didn\u2019t wash my face or brush my teeth until probably 6 or 7 that evening\u2026truth be told I skipped showering on Friday but it felt good! Like my kids say, I\u2019m not going hold you \ud83d\ude02 I wasn\u2019t ripe or nothing so don\u2019t be turning your nose up but about 3 o\u2019clock Saturday morning I turned over and realized maybe it wasn\u2019t wise wallowing around in the bed all day and got up to wash (I\u2019m not talking about a bird bath either)! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Friday was a ME DAY! I normally only get them when I\u2019m sick and even when I\u2019m not feeling my best I still have some folks who think I\u2019m superwoman and expect me to still do. And like  moron, I normally will. But Friday I had to realize that this is not sustainable because I\u2019m going to burn out. Or like the young people say, I\u2019m going to crash out. I don\u2019t smoke, not a drinker (besides an occasional sip of Stella Rose Black), don\u2019t enjoy shopping anymore after I realized I\u2019m a hoarder, and I\u2019ve watched all the interesting cooking and baking shows on Hulu and Netflix so the next stop before the loony bin was to crash out and I\u2019m not trying to do all of that. I say all of that to say REST is my new best friend. NO is my word for 2026! Self love, self care, rest, deeper devotional time with God, party of one, pajama days, home days, and phone on do  not disturb is the way I\u2019m going. I\u2019ve put ACCESS DENIED IN 2026 as my personal destination for my internal GPS where no text, email, phone call, knock at the door, etc. can find the coordinates or location to Whitnee\u2019. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
So I ask myself did I have to almost curse my kids out, ignore people phone calls, left a message unread, hide the car in the backyard, put auto reply out of office messages on, or bleed out half to death for me to realize this?! I guess so but fortunately for me, I still have breath in my body to aboard mission and reroute my behavior to get better results in 2026. I\u2019m not waiting for January 1, 2026 to start this\u2026I started it Friday! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I know some of my homies are probably reading this and saying about dern time. <\/strong>Others are probably saying, \u201cyeah right I know Whitnee\u2019 going come through, pick up the phone, cook this or cook that, go this place or go that place, etc. when I need her. \ud83d\udde3\ufe0f BBBBBBBOOOOOOONNNNNGGGGGGG!!! Wrong answer, you have no more chances\u2026ACCESS DENIED! <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Transparent moment: I felt a certain type of way as I\u2019ve been going through some changes and I realized that the folks I make sure I hold down as much as I could, weren\u2019t there for me. Some are too self centered and probably didn\u2019t know anything about me. Some simply just don\u2019t care. Some say \u201cI\u2019ll pray for you,\u201d but the main ones praying on my downfall. And some don\u2019t know their butt from their mouth (I\u2019m just saying). And the reality of it is that it\u2019s times like this that the devil will try to make your mind his playground. That\u2019s where hate, resentment, anger, ridicule, malice, and other things started brewing and before you know it you a negative Nancy, you are toxic, bitter, hateful, spiteful, and just not pleasant to be around. I didn\u2019t want that to be my story. I didn\u2019t want that to be who I become so I had to push pause on some enabling habits or unhealthy behaviors that was slowly stripping me of my peace and preservation. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I haven\u2019t snapped, I\u2019m not mad, I\u2019m not upset, I\u2019m not delusional\u2026IN FACT this is the most clear headed I\u2019ve been since  piles of \ud83d\udca9 got dumped on my desk back in June. I\u2019m finally realizing what has become a major burden, a thorn in my neck, etc. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Ralph and Willia Davis would be so proud of me! My Daddy is probably in Heaven like about time that girl get her head out of her butt and learn how to say no. Always thinking that\u2019s being mean or selfish but self care is not selfish. Who taught us that? I will no longer be a slave to man, to the system, to society, to traditional ways. TO HELL WITH THAT!!!! <\/em><\/strong>My balance has been off for years. I mean maybe I really had a balance. But all 2025 I read my daily affirmations, one that reads, \u201cI will set healthy boundaries and learn to say no.\u201d I read it and said it aloud every day but I wasn\u2019t practicing what I preached. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
In 2026 I want to become a better version of Whitnee\u2019. I want to offer God my whole being and rid myself of habits, behaviors, relationships, toxins, etc. that don\u2019t align with where I want to go in Christ. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The Bible talks about God first, valuing others and putting their needs above our own, and being of service to others BUT the Bible never taught us to neglect self. Being overworked and underpaid has conditioned us, staying busy all the time has blinded us, and being Black in America has given a courage, a boldness, and a strength that God created and live and hardships have cultivated over time, but GODS WORD has been my substance where I thought fear, feelings of unworthiness, lack of education, etc. was my only reward. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Sometimes God has to cause things to die in you before He revives you. I felt like I owed people. I felt like that was the kind thing to do. I felt like that was the polite thing to do. Nah bruh! Access denied! <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n
I placed Proverbs 4:20-27 above for a reason. I wanted to put emphasis on verse 23. It talks about self love, self care, self worth. We see Jesus as a selfless person, a man of great humility, a man with a servants heart, a man who sacrifices BUT he doesn\u2019t neglect himself. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
To Whitnee\u2019, I\u2019m sorry that I:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n