Whitnee's journey with Christ

It was May of 2007 when I last heard his sweet voice. He asked me to come home and I responded I’ll be home soon. Soon never came. I didn’t make it back home to see him before he transitioned to his Heavenly home. Think he ever forgave me?

Yes daddy forgave me; why wouldn’t he? My dad knew I would drop literally anything and come running when he called. This last time was different. Years later I can say it was all apart of God’s plan. It did teach me a thing or two about being more diligent.

I’ll admit being diligent was not in my vocabulary. I’ve always been a procrastinator in more ways than one but not this time- I’ve got too much at stake.

Today’s my dads birthday. I know it’s a party in Heaven right now. I wonder what’s cooking for breakfast? Salmon patties, grits, bacon, fat back, liver pudding, smoked sausage, biscuits and gravy…and a good ole cup of joe. My dad loved his coffee with lots of cream and sugar. So much cream and sugar you couldn’t tell the fact the coffee was originally black.

I could use one of those daughter daddy talks right about now. I’ve had so much on my mind and not anyone to share it with. Thank God you and mom taught me about the one I could take all my issues to- we’ve been having the best talks since He called you home. Now I see why you would spend so much time in the Word- He is simply amazing!

So because I can’t hear your voice I’ll write my thoughts here daddy. I pray I’ll see a red bird today and he sends this message to Heaven. I know you are in my heart but the red bird brings so much comfort to me. Well daddy, I found myself in a sticky situation. I got so caught up on what I wanted my future to be (my future house, my future car, the kids future school, etc.) I kind of sucked at “taking care” of the now.

Of course I always give God thanks but the general maintenance I let slip. Yes I cook, I clean a little, I wash clothes, and all of that but it’s the simple things I’ve been neglecting. I missed a few “how are you doing this morning,” good night hugs and kisses, I love you’s, a few compliments here and there, and one or two zoom calls.

Yeah I know you are probably saying “that’s not like you Whitnee’, but if only you knew daddy?!! Things aren’t as easy this go round because you and grandma not here to take the bulk of the responsibility- so it’s fallen on me.

Growing up you always talked about seasons and you always talked about there is a reason for everything under the sun. I know the reason for this daddy but do you think your buddy knows? Do you think he understands my heart enough to excuse my negligence? Do you think he will forgive me? Is it too late are we too far gone? Have I procrastinated to the point I’ve missed out on all I ever wanted?

You are probably saying “so what you going do sink or swim-talk about it or be about it- cry a river or get and grab what you want. Daddy, I’m grabbing hold to what I want and what the devil is trying to steal from me and I won’t let go. Who knew a late night parking lot experience would cause the light bulb to go off in this thick skull of mine- how could I have been so “caught up” I didn’t love better or see what this love was missing.

My head aren’t in the clouds anymore daddy. I got so caught up in “Dream Deals” that the one I’m dreaming for has grown impatient. I mean I don’t blame them- this was the biggest sacrifice ever. I don’t want a life of emptiness and frustration because I know the circumstances will change. I still want that “house on the hill.”

Your death taught me that life is short. I thought you would be here forever but God saw your pain and called you home. Loosing you taught me to grab life by the horns and to be a go-getter. I’ve done so although I’ve missed out on some things by not believing in myself. Thank God I believe in God and I know the plans He has for me and my future. I know the plans He has for me now and this time is precious. This moment is too sacred for me not take advantage and say I love you.

I loved you from the moment we locked eyes, I loved you from the moment we exchanged words, and that love still burns deep even if things look a little different now. The love never stopped and as long as my heart still beats- my love will live on because true love never fails!

Daddy you taught me not to be foolish and you taught me to follow my gut. My gut is saying keep fighting because it’s not all in vain.

You (you know who I’m talking to) once referred to me as vanity; am I really?!!

As I take advantage of spreading God’s word this morning I would be doing a disservice to my dad if I didn’t take the opportunity to encourage you to be diligent in your endeavors. Don’t get so caught up on where you want to be that you forget to live in the place you are currently. We must crawl before we walk.

God wants us to diligent in all of our ways and He wants us to not wait for tomorrow- we must do it now.

As they are having a ball in heaven I’m down here missing you daddy like crazy. But I’ve still got work to do so until we meet again I love you and will never stop loving you daddy.

Thanks for the pep talk dad, now it’s time for me to put your advice and God’s advice in action.