Whitnee's journey with Christ

It’s been 8 days since our car accident and it was starting to look like I would never see a dry pillow ever again. I had been torn, sad, depressed, emotional, exhausted, and just pure anxious since the day of the crash. It’s like I felt like I lost my mom all over again. I did in a sense- the car that she entrusted me with had been totaled and I have been blaming myself non-stop.

It’s sad how even when you know the word of God and you pray and claim healing and deliverance the enemy will use your pain, your past hurt, your deepest darkest feelings against you to have in a fog. The fog was getting stronger with each day and the tears wouldn’t stop falling from my round cheekbone even though, I begged for them to stop.

So I sat up in bed listening to “Glory” by John Legend and then listening to “Stand” by Donnie McClurklin but it didn’t bring about the comfort; that comfort that I so desperately needed and wanted.

Rico couldn’t help, William, Micah, or Emmanuel couldn’t help, Faith tried to no avail, Jasmine prayed and tried, Kelly, Kami, and Mrs Rita tried but nothing seemed to work or relieve this grief I was feeling. I wouldn’t dare elaborate on what was truly bothering me, so I tried to go on with life just hoping these feelings would go away. It didn’t!

But then out of the blue on my way to dropping the kids off to school I got a phone call! I don’t talk to this person often but when I do she always has a way of blessing the depths of my soul. It was so good catching up and hearing how God was moving in and through her. We were about to end the call when a sense of urgency came across me and told me to speak up. I told her what I had been feeling which was shocking )because even the persons I talk to on a daily basis) I wouldn’t utter a word of this.

I felt God had taken hold of her and spoke to me directly. It was magical! It was exactly what I needed and a true answer to prayer.

No longer didn’t I feel gray. No longer did I feel like I had to keep blaming myself like the police so bluntly did. No longer did I have to carry this burden that it was my fault the accident occurred, my fault I couldn’t save my moms car, and it wasn’t my fault I couldn’t save my mom.

I knew all of these thoughts were lies but I’ve been distracted and deceived for 8 days. It’s been the longest, most stressful, horrifying 8 days of my life. All of my joy had been sucked out and though I’m healing physically from the accident, I was getting worse emotionally and psychologically. I literally just told Faith I needed to see someone on Monday and I wanted to seek help. I couldn’t get the guilt out of my head.

But the song bird herself sung to me. She whispered to me. She prayed for me. She Prophesied over my life and helped to restore my peace and my hope and happiness. She helped me want to celebrate my birthday and kick the devil out of my head.

Wednesday night I was so tired and feeling so low but William said no mom get up we have to go to church. I’m so glad I did. Tatayana shared her heart and the scripture verses above and it blessed me. She is a wonderful mother who often encourages me and speaks life lessons that help me when I feel weary. I told her I was thankful to her but I don’t think she knows how much it helped me just to get through the day.

So often we go through life ignoring our feelings and pretending they don’t matter. Or we just try to “get over it” but my pain wasn’t meant to be masked, my pain was meant to be shared in hopes of providing hope to someone else who may be an emotional “wreck” right now. There are so many people hurting right now for one reason or another and we are too busy wrapped up in self just to give them a word of encouragement.

After the words of comfort from the song bird, the fog was lifted and then I was showered with so much love, kindness, and confirmation that it’s okay to step into this new season. I was so comfortable being uncomfortable because it was familiar.

God did not want me there and can I tell you my sisters and brothers, He doesn’t want you there either. The devil is a liar, a deceiver, and we have to take back everything he has taken from us.

You might have stole my moms car BUT GOD’S GOT WILLIA DAVIS! You might be costing me money with this rental just to get from point A to point B but I’ll get a new car, and it will be bigger and better and the money will flow back into my account like the stream of the river. You might have made me cry BUT GOD HAS MY TEARS STORED UP! You may have hit me below the belt and knocked me down BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD I GOT UP!!!! I’m still here and I’m alive and thankful to celebrate 36 blessed years on this earth. Oh glory to God! Oh hallelujah somebody!

This joy that I have, the enemy can’t take it. Satan go back to hell! You not coming to this next chapter of my life. You tried it but we rebuke every curse, every bad deed, every harm to me or my family, every stressful moment at work, every financial hardship, any transportation issues, hospitalizations, cancer, high blood pressure, migraines, whatever it is we bind it up in the name of Jesus!!! We claim victory, OH GLORY!

Y’all watch out now, 36 stepping in and I’m walking into it just fine now.

Thank you song bird, I love you!