Whitnee's journey with Christ

For who has despised the day of small things?
For these seven rejoice to see
The plumber line in the hand of Zerubbabel.
They are the eyes of the Lord,
Which scan to and fro throughout the whole earth.

Zechariah 4:10

I have to start today’s post by saying THANK YOU LORD! THANK YOU LORD! YOU’VE BEEN SO GOOD! BEEN SO GOOD! YOU’VE BEEN SO GOOD, AND I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU LORD!!!

I think you for my good days, my bad days, my happy days and my sad days, I thank You for financial resources and I thank You when I am scrapping the bottom of the barrel, I thank You for every praise and every trial, I thank You for Your love and for Your correction, I thank You for every up and every down, I thank You for every test, every valley and every mountain, I thank You for the gift of life and I will praise You ever more even in death, I thank You for my life, I thank You for allowing me to come to You weak, broken, and at the point I wanted to give up. I thank You for restoring my soul, mending my broken home, I thank You for the beauty of healing and understanding and respecting the stages of healing. I thank you for every penny, every nickel, every dime, every quarter, every dollar, every check, every form of money that you have blessed me with and even when i went without, there was purpose for it and I thank You. Thank You for forgiving me when I took You for granted. Thank You for providing above what I could ever ask for and the times I sat in the dark with no food, no car, and almost lost my home. Thank You for Your strength, Your courage, and Your gift that you have blessed me with that I can live to tell the story. God I love You and I thank You for loving me. Decrease Whitnee’ so when folks see me they will look to You!

It’s morning like this that I have to break out in songs that I remember from my childhood that are balms to my soul. I have to sit and thank God for all that He is, all that He has been, and all that He will be. This peace, this joy, this contentment, this clarity, this love, this walk, this talk, these tears…oh how grateful I am. Special thanks to Faith for her response to yesterday’s blog that prompted me to study Zechariah and be blessed by the Word.

When you have some time, read the 4th chapter of Zechariah. The heading in my Bible says the Vision of the Lampstand and Olive Trees. In this Scripture we see that Zerubbabel had been given a task. His task was to finish rebuilding the Jerusalem temple. The task was left incomplete when the group of Israelites came into some adversity. You ever been asked to do something or tasked with a job but didn’t finish it because something happened? Did you abandon your position and walk away completely or did you see it through, even if you got off course or had to take a break to get yourself together?

Well in the text, Scripture shows that some time had lapsed and it still hadn’t gotten done. Like Zerubbabel, God knew and God knows we going to face some things on this journey called life. He knows that things will get a little rocky, and look what the Lord says in verses 6 and 7.

So he answered and said to me:
“This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel:
“Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit,’ 
Says the Lord of hosts.
‘Who are you, O great mountain?
Before Zerubbabel you shall become a plain!
And he shall bring forth the capstone
With shouts of “Grace, grace to it!”

What is God saying here? Does this speak to you in your current situation? What stands out to you in these passages?

God is telling us that the work can be finished! You might not have what you want BUT HE SUPPLIES EVERYTHING YOU NEED. (Going inside the gas station to pay with $18.25 in change was very humbling, but it got the job done and my family got from Point A to Point B without standing in the cold weather pushing the car or walking.

The world would make us to believe we aren’t good enough, we don’t qualify, we aren’t smart enough, pretty enough, we don’t have enough grit or whatever else the enemy would use to make us quit or be distracted for the work of God’s hands for us..but God says Not by might nor power, but by My spirit.

I want to share what I’ve learned in this season of listening to God and learning to be more obedient that there was purpose for my physical pain, mental anguish, financial stress, etc. This was necessary to help me understand and stop pouring my energy into places God was delivering me from or telling me to do it His way and not mine. During this healing process I realized that I was more hard headed than I would ever admit. Why is it I had to dern near loose EVERYTHING just to pick up the assignment He tasked me with? When I tried to do it my way God broke me down like a fraction. You want to know the answer? I was ashamed. Simply put, I was ashamed.

I didn’t want people to judge me, I didn’t want people to criticize my choices, I didn’t want folks looking down on me or Rico, I didn’t want people to try and dictate if my boys should be involved in extra curricular activities if sometimes I couldn’t put gas in the car, etc. I was ashamed to speak about how many nights I cried in pain and didn’t know if I would lie in bed and bleed to death. So many people look at me like I’m not supposed to cry, I’m not supposed to hurt, I’m not supposed to feel stressed out at times, or like I don’t know what the hell to do and it dawned on me heck they probably don’t know their butt from their mouths so who are you ashamed to tell the TRUTH TO! The way I was going about it was ignorant and it went against what I believe God called me to do because I have to speak THE TRUTH in love! Growing up Daddy always said if you woman enough to do it, then be woman enough to talk about. So yes I struggled with my husband whom I laid down with and bore three kids that we raise together. Yes I choose to let Micah focus on school and his passion of sports verses get a job to bring more money into the house. Yes I sit here and buy my kids healthy foods that provide the nutrients they need to be healthy and live longer. Yes I moved to a better neighborhood and got out the hood so my kids didn’t have to experience crackheads having sex in the abandoned field in front of my house, so I wouldn’t have to look over my shoulder wondering when the next time someone was going to kick in my door, my boys picking up gun casings and wondering if one was going to come through our window at night, or seeing prostitutes walk up and down the street trying to perform sexual acts just to get their next fix.

You see I came to realization that the same things I was ashamed of because it is my story, my struggle, my life….was the very thing God called me to be real about. Why?? Because no matter what I went through, go through, or every go through do I take for granted that God was with me every step of the way!!! Oh glory hallelujah!!! No I may not look like the hell I’ve been through but I’ve got to live to tell the story to the people who don’t know how to escape the mental prison they are in because they’ve lost hope. I’ve got to tell them that even though I bled for 49 nights straight, God kept me strong enough to still cater for folks, to still clothe folks, to still teach His word in Children’s church, to still do the Children’s sermon, to still cook and clean and to show up for my husband and kids, GOD STILL CARED!!!!!

Y’all I wish I could speak to somebody this morning! I wish I had a witness at just how good my God is! So from this morning forward I don’t care what you think about my struggle, I don’t care if you don’t like my husband, I don’t care if you don’t support my kids and their love for football and basketball, I don’t care if you don’t like my food, I don’t care if you don’t think Dolly’s House is good enough, I don’t care if you don’t like this blog or anything I’ve ever written it because 📢 I AM LIVING FOR GOD, I AM NOT LIVING FOR MAN! I DON’T NEED A PAT ON THE BACK OR A HAND OUT BECAUSE GOD IS SUSTAINING MY FAMILY EVEN IF WE COUNTING PENNIES. GOD HAS CALLED US TO SERVE BY WAY OF AFFORDABLE, HOME COOKED FOOD MADE WITH LOVE (Spry’s Durty Kitchen), A BOUTIQUE WHERE MONEY IS NOT ACCEPTED BUT GOOD QUALITY IS EXPECTED (Dolly’s House), AND WHERE PEOPLE CAN BE FREE TO JUST BE AND BE THANKFUL AND AT PEACE IN EVERY SITUATION AND EVERY SEASON OF LIFE (InspirationAllAroundMe.org).

I’m free! I’m happy! I feel so alive now! I am more in love with God now than I have ever been! He has been sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good to me! You know why? He told me not to worry about the haters and the naysayers because they don’t have a Heaven or a Hell to put me in. He wants me to keep it real because my truth again might be what someone needed to take it to God in prayer, to restore their hope, to channel their pain into God’s gain. I don’t know where God is taking me. I don’t know but where He leads I will follow! I cannot allow other people to dim His light in me and devil you just don’t know, you have given me more ammunition to do God’s will for my life so GET READY SUCKER CAUSE YOU GOING DOWN!!!

I know I went off the rails with this post BUT I pray God gets the glory! I pray you will allow God to work in and through you no matter what you are facing. I pray that together we can bring Heaven on Earth and “be about Our Father’s Business” together!

I love you Lord! Thank you for loving me and thank you for seeing fit to complete this work in me that You started. Thank You for opening my eyes and allowing me to see through Your eyes so I no longer despise or feel ashamed of the small things. Glory hallelujah!!!!! Praise God somebody!!!