I had come home from work yesterday mentally exhausted. As soon as I walked through the door, I noticed it was unusually hot. So I thought, “not this again, I do not have the time or the resources for this!” Just what I dreaded, our air went out. I had just talked to Matt a couple of weeks ago telling him good it was working and the house was nice and cool and then this happened. After the blessed weekend I had with Dolly’s House, it’s like everything was going down the drain RAPIDLY!
Every time the phone rang, it’s like everything was bad, negative, or depressing. I felt like the walls were beginning to cave in and I was running out of gas and could not rub fast enough in the opposite direction. I was literally running out of gas figuratively and actually. I had to tell my boys they would miss basketball practice because we just didn’t have it. William says “mom I have $7 dollars you can have it. We are out of water so can we go to Sam’s and get some water and put the rest in gas.” I explained to William that $7 would not be enough for the gas tank but I would go get the water. Emmanuel comes with $16 dollars and says, “here Ma you can use this for gas.” Then Micah comes upstairs and says, “Ma whats my social security number, I’m going to try to get a job and help out.”
I went in the kitchen and the tears began to pour down both sides of my cheeks.
William came in and said, “Ma why are you crying, it’s going to be okay. Let’s go get the gas and some fresh air, it’s going to be Okay.” I asked William does he believe God hears his prayers. He replied, “yes God hears my prayers and He answers.” Of course I already knew the answer and so I proceeded to ask him to please pray for me. I told him that I’m already working so much but it’s still not enough and I need to do more. He asked me if I was going to DoorDash and I told him I didn’t have the gas to do it. He gave me a hug and he wiped my tears. William is my source of encouragement when I feel like I’m failing as a mother, he gives me strength to keep going, no matter how tough the road is. Like my father, he always has the right words to say to make things better.
So listening to William I decided to go get gas and get the water, I can’t do City of Columbia spicket water, it tastes like dirt (in my opinion). After getting gas the $7 dollars he said he wanted to give me for gas he said could he use to get him some body wash, I agreed because it’s not fair to take his money so we went to CVS so I could use my coupon that was set to expire soon. We got back home and he said, “Ma can we please go to practice, it’s hot in the house anyway so you can come inside the gym and get some fresh air.” I didn’t want to sit in the gym listening to musky boys bounce the ball and run up and down the court. I didn’t want to drive to Lugoff knowing I needed that gas to make it to work and to take Micah to school the next day. I truly didn’t want to be around anyone, I just wanted to sit alone in my thoughts.
If anyone knows me and my children, I have a soft spot for them. So you know that means, we were headed out of the door for Lugoff. Although it was Emmanuel and Williams practice, Micah decided to go for the first time. I dropped them off and decided to go to the grocery store in Lugoff to get ingredients needed for my part time job. Luckily I had the company credit card, because I wouldn’t have been getting anything but a lent sandwich if they were depending on my money. Not wanting to be waste gas, I headed back to the school the boys were at and I sat under the most beautiful tree! She had the longest branches and most beautiful leaves that provided the most amazing shade and created a beautiful breeze.
As I sat there I had been in conversation with Kelly, Mrs. Rita, Faith & Anna from talks about the air conditioning, situations with folks I love and were hurting for, knee pain from stepping of the side walk the wrong way, etc. But all I knew is the comfort I received from sitting under this tree, nothing really mattered while I was under the tree. It’s not that I didn’t care about my problems, but I felt so secure, cared for, loved, and alright under this tree. It’s like God wrapped His loving arms around me through this tree and the cool breeze was like Him reassuring me that every little thing would be okay.
God comforted my soul! It was in this moment that I began to relax and give the worries, the anxiety, the stress, the uncertainty of it all to God. He truly lifted my burden, my heavy load.
So one night ask, so what about your air? What about your gas? What about water? How you going to feed your kids? Cook in a hot house? How you going to get to work? How? Why? When?
I had no answers. The only thing I knew to do in those moments was trust God. That’s all I ever know how to do. I work so I don’t have to ask people for stuff, but there are times I still fall short. I don’t have mommy or daddy to depend on and Rico helps as much as he can, so without bothering anyone or being a Felicia, all I know how to do is depend on God- that’s all I’ve ever known deep down inside but it took me loosing both of my parents to really truly understand that. It’s a lesson I wished I learned and understood while I still had them.
Practice was over and it was time to go home. Rico had gotten to the house and had dinner cooked. The thermostat said it was 82 degrees yet with the fans blowing it wasn’t that unbearable. The time was about 8:50, late and with SC Ready testing in the morning the boys needed to get in the bed. They took cold showers and went to bed and I sat in my birthday suite enjoying the breeze looking at Amazon’s’ website dreaming of the accessories I wanted in my car. Car insurance is so high these days but there is nothing wrong with a girl dreaming right?!
RIGHT!!!!!!
Reading this message one might ask, has that girl gone mad?
How could she sit here in a hot house after having to borrow money from her 12 year and 13 year old, and be thinking about accessories to put in a car?! The answer is, I haven’t gone mad. I haven’t “lost my marbles.” I decided to cast my cares to the Lord. I decided to trust Him. You see with payday looming around the corner, I knew the direct deposit could hit early, I could be going through my pocketbook and find a $20 wrapped in a receipt like before, or who knows what could happen. I don’t know BUT GOD KNOWS!
Shortly after I dozed off and all was well with my soul. I woke up thanking God I was able to sleep comfortably underneath the fan (even though I was afraid I would get a cold). I had a slight headache but I didn’t let that stop me. I got Micah off to school and I got to work and I was thankful for the $16 dollars that got me here safely.
I want to tell you all how God ministered to me specifically. I want to tell you how I am so grateful for parents who raised me to be how I am. I’m so grateful that I inherited their giving spirit. Ya’ll God placed it on my heart to share with you all not looking for a handout (because I work- a full time job, a part time job, catering on the side) and I rub my nonprofit and this website that costs me money but I’m not going to die with money and sometimes too tired to enjoy it when I do have, but God always provides. I put that out there because by no form or fashion do I want anyone to miss my point and focusing on MY FINANCES, they belong to God, and it’s going to be alright, it always is. Even when I struggle, it’s always okay and will be okay. So focus let me tell y’all about how good my God is:
- I told my family I didn’t have the gas to drop off a cook I made for her birthday yesterday but I would drop it off today on my way home. Without asking, without expecting ANYTHING, I received two CashApp payments for gas, and was “threatened saying I better not give it back.”
- Rico had brought a man a soda for his birthday back in January. Out of the blue the guy came to give Rico $1.50 and asked why he looked so down. Rico told the guy he was going through it and moments later the guy gave Rico $20 and thanked him for his kindness on his birthday back in January.
Ya’ll and God’s grace, God’s provision, God’s love didn’t stop there.
I’ve been trying to get this message out all morning but folks have been coming to my door all morning but I’ve got to get this out because it is pressing on my spirit.
CAN I TESTIFY?
Went and did Dolly’s House of Clothing first clothing giveaway in the community and my racks that I could afford are falling apart. I’ve been looking on FB Marketplace to see where I could buy more from but the ones I need that are good quality I can’t afford. God heard me crying from that and He sent help! Now I can purchase 3-4 racks for Dolly’s House and replace the flimsy ones over time even if it’s one by one. Anyone know a store going out of business that wants to donate them to my nonprofit?
On Sunday morning (Sunday past) I was asked to do chicken and rice and told to turn in my receipts for reimbursement. There were no receipts because I didn’t have the money to front the bill but God knew and He saw this months ago when I received the assignment. I didn’t have money to go to the store but can I tell you that I’m grateful on this Tuesday morning that I had chicken in my deep freezer and rice at the house I used to provide for my dear friend. So no I don’t have receipts to give but by the grace of God I was able to fulfill the assignment and my friend had a successful retirement luncheon.
Ya’ll I’m shouting glory hallelujah right now because the direct deposit that supposed to hit on May 1st…I just received a notification as I was crying saying “Lord thank you for being so good to me,” that my direct deposit from my full time job just got deposited. Y’all I can give my family their money back that they sent me and I can pay my babies back their $7 and $16 dollars and I can breathe just a little bit better.
I work, Rico works but with gas, groceries, increased car insurance, property taxes, growing teenage boys that seem to grow out of shoes and clothes faster than I can type this message, and their activities we choose to put them in so they can stay out of the streets, and their school, etc. it’s hard but I’m not complaining because God gave us the strength to work! We might have aches and pains and we might live paycheck to paycheck but it’s okay!!!! Because God provides for TODAY! We might look crazy when the air breaks down but God puts people in your lives like Matt & Anna who want to fix the problem when we don’t have money to pay 2-10 home warranty. He sends people like Faith to call out for help when I’m too distraught and embarrassed to ask for help not wanting to bother anyone. He sends folks like Kelly & Mrs Rita to help keep me seeing God’s hands in everything when sometimes I get caught up in what I can’t do that I dim the light on just what God can do and is doing and been doing since 2019 and this race I’ve been running robbing Peter to pay Paul.
Ya’ll who can relate to where I am coming from, I want you to know it’s not always going to be like this, it will get better! It always wasn’t like this but when God blesses us with something we’ve got to learn how to put some up to reserve so when you up you can carry yourself through when you down. You see we didn’t build a big enough nest egg when the money was flowing in like a river that just didn’t end. We created a “stockpile” that got used up to help others when could help and do things that we wanted to do and needed to do. BUT ITS OKAY! God’s bigger than this and this is only TEMPORARY!!!
Ya’ll I inherited the Willia Davis approach in life. You see many didn’t know my mom’s struggles. I remember my mom would always be cooking for the church, giving to the folks at the High Rise, helping me and Regis out when we fell short, helping this person or helping that person but folks didn’t know you could go in her refrigerator and you might luck up to find 5-10 items. My mom didn’t have a lot of money but the money that she had, she always helped others. She didn’t have a lot saved up in the bank so when her house started to decline she didn’t have the money for repairs, but she always fed and clothed people who were hungry or naked. Ya’ll my momma didn’t have the fanciest car but it was enough for her.
Transparent moment: I used to get angry when I saw my mom giving her last and just saw a disconnect notice from SCE&G her table. I got furious when I saw an overdraft notice from the bank when she had just brought pampers, wipes and groceries for one of her coworkers. Y’all I was mad when I saw she paid my brother car insurance but he didn’t have a job to afford nothing, I was angry.
Here I am 4 years after her death and I find myself doing the same thing. My mom wasn’t mad or crazy, my mom had the peace of God that surpasses all understanding. By the grace of God, I’ve got that peace.
My mom didn’t wait until she was on her death bed to obtain that peace. She didn’t wait too long to take action or to help someone in need. She didn’t stay on her mountain too long like the Israelites in Deuteronomy chapter 1. My momma understood her assignment and it was something my sweet sister Kelly said to me this morning that helped me understand my assignment. Wow!!! Wow!!! Wow!!!
🎶 There is a song I would sing at NST and the tears would flow because I could feel the lyrics of the song. The song is entitled It’s Your Time by Luther Barnes. Click here to listen.
You’ve been faithful, you’ve been true
And you’ve done all that you can do
and for your faithfulness, it’s your time
You applauded for the rest
now it’s your time to be blessed
And for your faithfulness, it’s your time
You’ve waited for so long
But you held on, and you were strong
And for your faithfulness, it’s your time
You encouraged everyone else
When you needed it for yourself
And for your faithfulness, it’s your time… 🎶
I am so blessed that God slowed me down and brought sweet rest and peace to me under this tree (picture from above). It was my “aha moment” and it’s something I’ve misunderstood for far too long. Y’all don’t know how grateful I am that I got to see my mom and my dad struggle AND HOLD ON! Y’all don’t know how grateful I am for my boys to see Rico and I struggle in more ways than you’ll ever know AND THEY ENCOURAGE ME TO HOLD ON! Y’all I wish you could see my face, God is so good! Like He is better than good to me!
I’m tired of stressing over things I cannot change. I’m tired of trying to figure out how many jobs I can manage before I kill myself trying to pay these bills (because I’m only human). I didn’t marry the man with 6 figures and he sure didn’t marry the model, but together God created children that I know have a brilliant and bright future ahead of them. Together we are going to serve God through Inspiration All Around Me, Dolly’s House of Clothing Ministry and Spry’s Durty Kitchen even though it’s not turning a profit, even though it’s costing me money, even though it comes with some stress BECAUSE God placed it on my heart to do so to help someone else.
Healing came to my mom on the other side! But her peace came on this side and I was blessed to inherit it and my kids have it too!
Ya’ll if you don’t get but one thing out of today’s message, I want you to understand the importance of placing ALL OF YOUR TRUST in God. His timing! His will! His plan! His peace! His purpose!
Trust Him!
Trust Him!
TRUST HIM!!!!!
God is our refuge and our strength, and ever-present help in trouble.
All is well with my soul right now, I’m so grateful. God gives us just what we need, when we need it. I don’t have Trumps or Oprah’s money but by the time I spent with God under the tree yesterday that brought so much sense and clarity for things I couldn’t understand in my youth, I stand tall feeling like the RICHEST WOMAN in the world.
In conclusion, I want to leave with you some passages of Scripture that I studied, meditated, and prayed over this morning. I pray something is read, spoken, or heard that too will be a blessing to you today and in the days to come.
- 2 Corinthians 8
- Isaiah 58
- Ecclesiastes 11
- Matthew 25:31-46
If you are receiving this message via email, social media, text, etc. please help me PAY IT FORWARD by helping feed the hungry, clothe the naked, give drink to the thirsty, look after the sick, invite the stranger in, and visit those in prison (Matthew 25:35-36).
May God richly bless each of you and keep you in His perfect peace.
So… you took the words right out of my mouth, no you are not crazy, you have the peace that surpasses all understanding…Philippians 4:7. One thing that I have to say is that when negativity come your way, yea you may have a mini melt down, but you bounce back. That is a quality that I have always noticed you have… now me , I have my days. But you are a true encourager. You were always the optimistic one and always look for the good in people. When someone shows me who they are and it’s negative I either ignore them or leave or stay depending on who it is…but you, you will look for that positivity in them. I’ve gotten too impatient. So Pastor Steven Furtick preached a sermon. So I know you already have peace, but look at it from this stand point of view so as you already know Joseph was locked up in prison for two years….. and sometimes, I feel that my life being in prison always working extra hard and being tired and felling stuck, and having people say oh you need rest, you need to stop before you pass out, etc…. But just to pay the necessities to pay bill after bill after bill, and it’s a never ending cycle and I can’t ever take a vacation… my goodness. Yes this is prison for me….I be holding back and say you can’t pay my bills so leave me be! But anyways back to Joseph didn’t know that if he was released too early that it wouldn’t fall into the plan of him being a ruler over the food over the nation. So Whitnee if your hurdles of life didn’t occur at certain times, you would have missed the window of opportunity to demonstrate the gift that God has given you. So, again you are not mad, you are inspiring your sisters, brothers, children, neighbors, community, the WORLD on what to do when you’ve run into some struggle in your life. Amen Pig Nose. Let’s just have a good ole praise break right now… you see I always feel like it’s a monkey or something on my back and so need to get that off of me. I don’t want no need the enemy know that We are Children of God and our FATHER in Heaven got us! OK. So in everything, the good, the bad, the ugly, God’s children will always give him the praise oh hallelujah! I got my tambourine in my hand shaking to the Heavens right now. There ‘s a song that I get up and dance to by Bishop Ronald E Brown that me and Hun used to dance to, There’s a storm out on the Ocean. It goes there’s a storm out on the Ocean and it’s moving this a’ way, if your soul’s not anchored in Jesus, it will surely drift away. It’s one of them songs that will get you going back in the day like we used to…So that song keeps me rooted, get that money kicked off my back because we are anchored in Jesus! Amen. Amen. Whitnee back to Stephen Furtick, he used the example of a banana you know when’s it’s not ripe, getting ready, and when’s it’s rotten. We are like that banana. God says he knows when we are ready and when we think we are ready. God says he knows how to leave the thing in the obscure place until the opportunity has reached its optimal positioning. We are ripe. We are ready. Whitnee I don’t care how the enemy will tell us too much time has passed, too many other people have gone ahead of you, too many things that we should of done, But God! At just the right time, when we humble ourselves under God’s Mighty hand, God will see us through. I might be a little rusty, but I’m ripe! Can I get a witness??Amen. Amen. 🙌🏾🙌🏿🙌🏽🙌🏼🙌🏻🙌🙌🏾
Amen. Amen. And AMEN!!! 🙌🏾🙌🏻🙌🏾🙌🏻🙌🏾🙌🏻🙌🏾🙌🏻 When you get a chance please send me the link to this sermon, I’ve got to listen and study the scriptures you’ve referenced here for myself. I told you earlier and I’ll tell you again, thank you for encouraging me. Anna says “even the encourager needs encouragement,” and she is totally correct! I never want my writing to be in vain, I never want my transparency to be in vain, and I sure don’t want living to be in vain…I’m so glad we are anchored in the Lord. The winds may blow, the storms will come, the waves will rise BUT our soul is anchored, deep-rooted in the Lord.
I don’t have a tambourine but I’m singing 🎶 glory glory hallelujah since I laid my burdens down… 🎶
Oh Lord that ole gospel music makes me shout and helps me turn sad tears into tears of joy!
Thank you horse nose, I appreciate you!
💜