Whitnee's journey with Christ

“Where am I to get meat to give to all these people? For they weep all over me, saying, ‘Give us meat, that we may eat.’ “I am not able to bear all these people alone, because the burden is too heavy for me. If You treat me like this, please kill me here and now- if I have found favor in Your sight- and do not let me see my wretchedness!”
Numbers 11:13-15 (NKJV)

This morning I was created by a Patient Care Technician by the name of Keshia. When Keshia walked through the door she said, “Good morning so you are the famous daughter I have heard so much about.” Quickly I replied, “famous daughter, no my name is Whitnee’, I’m her daughter (pointing at my mom). She then goes on to say. “I know who you are, I’ve heard all about you.”

We continued to talk and I clarified a few things for her. I told her I wasn’t sure what was being said about me but I’m here for my mom not for recognition and do what I do, when I do it because God placed it on my heart. I went on to say the same spill I tell everyone which is, I’ll handle things if you just don’t mind getting me a few supplies my mom and I need. She asked if I wanted to clock in now because it is said I’m doing all of the nurses jobs. I chuckled and replied, “no ma’am, I just know I won’t have a Keshia at home so I have to learn to do it myself.”

Obviously I put my foot in my mouth because shortly after Monty, our daytime nurse came and said we were getting the boot. We had been moved from the critical patient area to the “one step from getting the boot” area. I told her I wasn’t comfortable stepping down and she asked me to tell her what it is that she is doing or anyone else rather. I told her plenty she gets the socks, sheets, meds, etc. for me to wash my mom, change the sheets, and give her, her meds in her tube.

She looked at me and rolled her eyes and said, “exactly that’s why you are moving because you don’t need us.” I told her I wouldn’t be “bad” anymore and I wouldn’t “help anymore”, I just wanted to make myself useful because I was just sitting here and it wasn’t fair to them. Keshia, Monty, and Tamara the housekeeper “ganged up on me” and said that’s what they get paid to do. I guess after realizing I had taken the mop from Tamara the housekeeper and moped the floor and picked up my own trash I now knew why there were moving us.

I guess it was just how I was raised. Hospital or not I don’t have “no maid” and I’m able body so why not do what needs to be done because there are others who unfortunately aren’t able to do for themselves or have someone there to help them.

While Monty meant one thing, Keshia meant another. She called me the “famous daughter” because I’ve been at the hospital since my moms surgery and hadn’t left. I then got very sad but played it off so they wouldn’t see the grief on my face. I was grieving because it was an honor for me to be allowed the privilege to serve, love on, and help my mom in this way. She made the sacrifice to try motherhood.

My mom gave me life so what is 30 days in the hospital? She birthed me, sheltered me, raised me, taught me, loved me, and cared for me so don’t I owe this to her? Don’t I deserve making the sacrifice to leave my kids and husband to by her side. Unfortunately daddy is not here to be beside his beloved bride, Regis my brother has underlying health conditions, her siblings are considered high risk due to the coronavirus due to their age, so what else was I supposed to do.

They couldn’t understand why I didn’t want recognition, they couldn’t understand why I was sad, they couldn’t understand me; but then again they don’t know my story!

To be in the hospital for 30 days and for some folks to not have one visitor is sad. Months ago people couldn’t come visit but now that people can have one, why aren’t they coming? This is a question I can’t answer but I know the blessed souls lying in the rooms all alone.

I don’t take for granted one moment that my mom raised me to be the young woman I am today. I don’t take for granted one moment that she didn’t give up on me even when I was a stupid, naive, blind little girl who didn’t know her moms worth. I don’t take for granted one moment how God provided a way out of what I thought was no way for me to be here with her and to have the connection I have with Rico and the boys just for them to understand why mommy isn’t home. I’m blessed and grateful and there is no place I would rather be.

Someone buried their mom yesterday, a classmate will bury his mom tomorrow, we buried my dad in 2007. So why again wouldn’t I be honored to be here with her? God saved my mom for a reason and I have to see that she is healthy to live out His purpose for her life.

I chose Numbers 11 because the people complained and it made God angry. He was angry because they were not grateful for the manna, they sought meat and melons, leeks, cucumbers, garlic, and onions. They were satisfied for God’s blessings- they wanted more. In verse 5 we see the people focused on what they didn’t have verses being thankful of what they did have.

Did they not stop to think God had just delivered them out of the hand of slavery and bondage so be thankful? No it wasn’t enough. “God was supposed to bless them.”

Isn’t that us at times? We forget the love and sacrifice of our parents and we take them for granted. I mean if the Israelites took the Lord for granted, it is very possible for us to take our parents for granted. Until they are gone. Then we sing a different tune.

No, not Whitnee’, I don’t have to loose my mom to know her worth! God blessed me with a good momma so just like Jamika I plan to give my mom her flowers while she is amongst the living.

I want to close with verse 14 in mind. It reads, “I am not able to bear all these people alone, because the burden is too heavy for me.”

Don’t let taking care of a sick parent be a burden to you. When we were babies and couldn’t fend for ourselves, did our parents treat us as if we were a burden? Did they grumble at taking us to the bathroom and wiping our butts? Did they frown every time you got hungry? Did they deny us a bath when they knew we needed it? Did they not tuck us in and kiss us goodnight?

Morale of the story is let’s make doing for our parents, our loved ones, our family, our community- a joy and not a chore. Let us not also seek recognition for doing what is right. All glory and honor belong to God!

If the Lord is permits please leave a comment below. If you have nothing to say, simply post AMEN before you leave this page. Scroll until you see the box for you to post your comment. God bless you, have a great weekend!