Whitnee's journey with Christ

I am not what I Ought to be

I am not what I Wish to be

I am not what I Hope to be

But by the

Grace of God

I am not what I was.

By John Newton

God knows just how much one can take and He knows what’s going to happen before it starts. He knows just when to bring you what you need and when you need it.

Yesterday morning I asked Rico were we in a bad dream that we couldn’t seem to wake up from. I also had a moment where I got so delirious from being exhausted I had to look around the room for hidden cameras! With all the foolishness going on, was I being punked or pranked.

In order for you to understand why I made that comment, let’s go down a brief recap of my week.

1. Monday- God woke me up and started me on my way. He allowed me to see a brand new day and receive brand new mercies! He put a praise in my heart that I couldn’t keep to myself. I went to the doctor. Typical day and typical night. I ended my night in prayer.
2. Tuesday- God woke me up and started me on my way. He allowed me to see a brand new day and receive brand new mercies! Rico went outside and noticed some coward(s) stole the rims and tires from our truck around 930am. At 10am I had a very important meeting that I had to get through on the phone while talking to the police and holding my composure. At noon I had an appointment at the bank to get the information NACA needs so I could upload it to my web file. I spent the rest of the day with a headache but also thanking God that He spared my life and kept my family safe from harm. I ended my night in prayer.
3. Wednesday- God woke me up and started me on my way. He allowed me to see a brand new day and receive brand new mercies. Although I couldn’t sleep that well the night prior I woke up with the anticipation today was going to be a better day. I ended up having a bad headache and I felt like the rest of the day was shot. I tried my hardest to “snap out of it” but it didn’t go according to plan. I went in my happy place which is the kitchen and began to cook. I pulled myself together and logged in to the church’s prayer meeting and spoke a little bit to give an update and was able to give words of encouragement to others to not give up. It was like God was speaking for me because Lord knows I was heavy hearted at this point and not really “feeling it.” I ended my night in prayer.
4. Thursday- God woke me up and started me on my way. He allowed me to see a brand new day and receive brand new mercies. I HAD TO CALL ON JESUS BECAUSE IN MY MIND I WAS 2 SECONDS AWAY FROM BEING AN INMATE VERSES WORKING AT ONE-I SAW RED. In a nutshell (not in the actual order of events) Rico and I had to track down some wheels to get our truck off of 3 cinder blocks and the last wheel barren being buried in the dirt, purchase brand new tires, JUST TO FIND OUT MY SO-CALLED INSURANCE WOULD NOT COVER THIS THEFT- I was livid, I was SICK, I was distraught, I was heartbroken. BUT GOD! I knew it had to be done so I put on my big girl panties and swiped the debit card. We found out the tires were wrong and the lady at Sam’s did not tell us the warranty had been void since they only sold me the tires but could not put them on due to the coronavirus and I mean how was I supposed to get the truck there….on my back???!!!! I got on the phone and called to drop Progressive “you know what. I WAS OVER IT FOR THE DAY! I couldn’t even get on my zoom meeting for the women’s support group. I felt too overwhelmed, I was literally grieving at this point. I sat in the kitchen by myself in the dark and besides doing my duties to help my mom I didn’t want to be bothered at all. I wept, prayed, and forced myself to go to sleep. Fortunately before I went to sleep I received words of encouragement and clips of wisdom from three close friends and it brought much needed rest and assurance.
5. Friday- God woke me up and started me on my way. He allowed me to see a brand new day and receive brand new mercies. I had to have a pep talk with Rico and I knew today was going to be a great day! Out of the blue Rico got a job offer that at the moment seemed so sweet (come to find out everything that “glitter ain’t gold.” I met my Uncle Robert to pick up a package for my mom and he surprised me with towels, wash clothes, and a jumbo package of Bounty paper towel. I was so excited because between Jasmine, Rico and myself we had gone to Sam’s several times within the last couple of weeks and could not get the paper towel so I felt like I “won the lottery.” I did- the paper towel lottery! And to think I didn’t even have to buy a ticket. Thank you Lord! So it was payday for me so I went to Walmart got my rent, tithes, and even got some household things and a few groceries. Friday ended up being one of the most expensive days I had in a long time. I mean especially paying for things out of my control and that definitely wouldn’t have been my first choice but that’s what happens when cowards decide to come take what doesn’t belong to them. My night ended with prayer but on a lot more positive note than the night prior.
6. Saturday- God woke me up and started me on my way. He allowed me to see a brand new day and receive brand new mercies. Today was the day reality actually kicked in that sometimes things are out of our control but it is what it is. Being upset wasn’t going to change the fact that this still has to be done. I thanked God I had some money saved up although it was for my house. You see this was the third vehicle that had been subject to the theft. The first one was successful, second one was a failed attempt because the battery was dead-but it caused so much damage I haven’t driven it since- and now this time they wanted the rims and the tires. Rico went to NTB and got the new tires and then we got the other things we needed for the truck because other damage had been done to the truck. Almost $1200 (short of about fifty or sixty bucks) I had to talk to myself and really have pep talks. Rico had orientation with his new job and found out the truth despite the job offer he had received the day before. It’s basically something we couldn’t cry over- I mean I was all cried out! We went to Target, went to go drop of my moms tithes, drowned my sorrows in an icecream come from Sonics, and went to ride past a house we fell in love with. I just wanted to dream since it felt like I was in a bad dream I couldn’t wake up from so we rode around in a very nice neighborhood and felt God’s peace and His massive presence saying “every little thing is going to be alright.” (Thanks Dave for singing that song to Madison). I got back home got in mommy mode and caregiver mode and that was what she wrote. I ended my night in prayer.
7. Sunday- God woke me up and started me on my way. He allowed me to see a brand new day and receive brand new mercies. While I attended virtual church service while administering morning meds to my mom, Rico was busy coordinating getting the truck back on the road. Since we couldn’t get it done Saturday he had to get it done today to prepare him for his start of work on his new job on Monday. In a nutshell (although not in the exact order) Barry got the tires on, he replaced the reservoir, and even checked out other things under the hood- or so I thought. Everything was going well! So much better than the last few days. And then it happened. THE BOTTOM FELL OUT!!!! I had received a call from my mother in law that Rico and the mechanic were on the side of the interstate broken down. They didn’t think they could make it back home so I had to get it called. I placed the roadside assistance at 1234pm; my truck did not get towed until 749pm. I found out somehow, some way, someone had drained all the oil out of my car (I’m assuming when they came to steal the rims although the ground underneath the car was dry) and you know what happened next? THEY SAY MY MOTOR IS “BLOWN.” I started laughing hysterically because no way after spending $1200 (give or take 50-60 bucks) I was finding out it was all for what? Nothing!!!! And I’m looking at having to a brand new motor. I just knew I was getting punked; I just knew it was all a prank. It wasn’t funny, I wanted it to stop. I sat and worked from 1145am until 1032pm until I couldn’t feel my fingers or my toes. I was just in shock- totally shock. I ended my night with prayer and fell hard asleep.

So now that we are all caught up on the events that took place over the last few days, here is the good news.

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Jesus has been my light and my focus in this dark, cold world. Although it feels like the last few days of my life have been pure hell; I’ve known the Lord has been with me every step of the way. You see I’ve learned to thank God in my mountain experiences and in the valley moments. Without my faith in God; I would have given up. To be honest I was close, but I never lost hope!

I was just tired and I admit I grew weary at times BUT I never lost hope in God. Because of God’s grace and me standing on God’s promises for my life I DIDN’T LOSE HEART!

The Bible says, Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger. I had to ask God for forgiveness because on some of these nights although I ended in prayer I didn’t truly release all of my anger- I held on to some but I had to realize God was not going to bless me. It’s not about Whitnee’ or Rico, it’s not about the truck, the motor, the tires, or the rims. It’s about God’s grace.

For His anger is but for a moment, and His favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

Psalm 30:5

You see right now in this moment I am shouting victory is mine, victory is mine, I TOLD SATAN TO GET THEE BEHIND, victory today is mine! He can’t steal my joy, he can’t steal my victory because I know whose hands my life is. I know God’s got this and HE HAS ME! I KNOW HE is my BELOVED SAVIOR. I know the Redeemer lives and I know He can remove this tribulation in His time.

Everything I am, everything I was, and I everything I’m going to be…I bless the name of Jesus. For I know I’m going to keep on pressing towards the goal for Jesus Christ is my prize.

So as a word of encouragement to you who may be going through your own period of trials and tribulations I need you to read Isaiah 58:1. Hold on, keep the faith, and keep praising God. Most importantly pray without ceasing. God knows what you stand in the need of, trust Him!

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:31

And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

Philippians 1:6

In conclusion, I challenge you to remain steadfast under your tests and trials, this too shall pass. For if we stand the rest then we will receive the crown of life. Trust God. Praise God. Pray without ceasing. And always remember that we may record mercy and find grace to help in time of need.