Whitnee's journey with Christ

As children we had many friends. For example, children will play with a little boy or girl for ten minutes at the park and without even knowing their name, they become “friends” and they want to exchange numbers and have play dates. That demeanor quickly changes as that child starts to grow and mature. As a people we become more selective on who we consider a friend. With God’s purpose I intend to briefly highlight some attributes of how the Bible describes the characteristics of a friend.

Here are a few biblical traits found in Proverbs 16-18, 27, and Ecclesiastes 4.

• A true friend –
  • Shows love
  • Gives heartfelt advice
  • Corrects a friend out of love
  • Influences
  • Sharpens
  • Avoids gossip
  • Does not hold grudges
  • Is loyal
  • Helps in times of need

Looking at that list I can’t help but do a self assessment to check my friend meter and I see where I have room to improve in certain areas.

Friendship is a mutual agreement between two or more people- it is equally rewarding. As humans we cling to others in hope of creating bonds with one another. From my experience I have learned you do have to be selective of who you consider a friend. The Bible says in Proverbs 12:26, the righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.

I’m so grateful to my circle of friends. We have been able to comfort, assist, cry with or for, pray with or for, lift each other up, share and create memories, and do so much more. Like anyone there are friends, associates, and then there is a select few of folks we consider close friends who sometimes are closer to us than our own brothers or sisters- we cherish them all the same but this select few of folks you would give your last just so they wouldn’t go without.

An example of friendship where friends were closer than family is the friendship between David and Jonathan. The letters that Paul writes often highlight his relationships to those who loved, supported, and whom ministered to him.

Going back to the comment I made earlier, we must be selective on who we consider a friend. You’ve heard of the word toxic right?! Well there are toxic people- they will seem to be your friend but pray for your downfall. They want nothing more but to see you fail in life. They thrive on negativity and if we aren’t careful, can help lead us to destruction.

1 Corinthians 15:33 reads: Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.”

My cousin in law has been talking a lot about “protecting my energy”. I totally agree we have to be mindful of who we confide in, who we consider loyal, who we associate with.

As we strive to live more like Christ surround yourselves around people who have similar values. Surround yourself around someone who truly wants the best for you and leads you to make better decision verses the person or people who only seek to use you, keep you foggy, don’t support your positive choices, distract you from God and your family, try to keep you isolated, and most importantly the ones who only seek to corrupt your mind.

Self assessment: what type of friend are you? What type of friend do you aspire to be? What type of friends do you have? Where can you help your friend? How can you pray for your friend?

I’m going down my list of people I surround myself and I’m seeking people that lead me to a better relationship to God. Not saying I won’t still socialize with folks who don’t provide that because maybe God will use my love for them to lead them to Christ or depending on their believes help them to be a better version of themselves. I would like to minister to others about the love of God through the way I live, by the way I love, by making better decisions and learning from my mistakes.

I would do a disservice to today’s message if I didn’t give a shout out to the very best friend I’ve ever had. (Before I write the name depending on whom is reading this I have two or three folks that may think I’m talking about them). The person I am referring to is Jesus.

No matter what I’ve done, He loves me. No matter how many times I fall short, He forgives me. It is through Him I will one day reunite with my mommy, daddy, sister, grandma and all the others who passed on.

Do you have a personal relationship with my friend? He doesn’t have a cap or limit on how many friends He has or who He calls a friend. He seeks out the poor, the low in spirit, the prostitute, the drug dealer, the pimp, the desolate and He calls us His beloved. He made the ultimate sacrifice for you and I when He laid down his life for you and I. If you want His number, just call out His name, He is there for you!

Today I encourage each of us to be a better friend and to love one another as Christ loves us. Encourage and lift one another up. Pray daily for one another.

Sidebar: Married folks let us never forget our spouse was our friend before they became our love, soul mate, heartbeat, husband/wife. Sometimes we get lost in life with all of our responsibilities, taking care of the kids, being a caregiver, work, school, etc. With all of that said, make it a priority to make time for one another. Keep the friendship alive, pray daily for another, communicate and listen, be open and non judgmental, be your spouses biggest cheerleader, show and give respect, honor each other, be a safe space for one another, keep Christ at the center of your relationship, realize your spouse is human and will make mistakes and deserves grace and understanding (correct out of love verses ridicule and criticism), always give 100 percent verses 50/50, learn how to compromise, remember your spouse is not a mind reader so clearly State your wants and needs and make sure you address and work towards meeting the wants and needs of your spouse (all within reason of course), have fun, and remember the same person you fell in love with as a friend is still the same person you are married to today (people change but love doesn’t). THIS IS A WISDOM NUGGET IM SPEAKING TO SOMEONE TODAY (I’m taking this in to incorporate this in my own marriage- Lord if only I knew this earlier, the heartache I could of avoided BUT thank God I know now).

In closing, sing with me a few lyrics of the song Dr. Neal loves to sing during worship service, What A Friend We Have In Jesus.

🎶 What a friend we have in Jesus
All our sins and grief to bear
And what a privilege to carry 
Everything to God in prayer

Oh, what peace we often forfeit
Oh, what needless pain we bear
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer 🎶 

Seek good influence and be a good influence. If you don’t have an earthly best friend or even if you are looking for a deeper friendship, call on my friend Jesus. He is the best friend you could ever have. God loves you and so do I! Now go improve or repair those relationships, forgive and ask for forgiveness.