Whitnee's journey with Christ

Two years ago to date I walked up the steps to find you -what appeared to be sleeping- on your Wednesday night bible study with NST. It was a little after 7pm when I came to check on you to see if you needed anything, I remember it being 7 because Wheel Of Fortune was on. Boy did my mom love herself some Wheel of Fortune! You had had a rough day and was physically warn out but that didn’t stop you from being obedient and following what had been asked of you. And we know that even though you were in the hospital for 33 days (6-7 of which you spent in MICU and ICU), bed bound at times, in recovery, until your final moments on this Earth; you always did what was asked of you. You made a covenant to God to be in church every Sunday, attend bible study weekly, and do whatever you could to serve God and to help others. You kept that promise until the last breath you took. Gosh what big shoes you left to fill!

If you are willing and obedient, You shall eat the good of the land.

Isaiah 1:19

You never took a day off! You never said no! You never denied someone who was in need. You never failed to cloth someone, feed someone, make a gift basket, clean someone’s else house, fold their clothes, provide health care and household products and toiletries, etc. You always put others first. You never one time NOT ONE TIME ever complained. You were THE MOST selfless person I’ve ever known. YOU ARE AMAZING! Even from Heaven, you shine so brightly and your love has left a mark on all who’ve known you. To know you is to love you. And mom guess what, people still rocking the clothes you’ve given them.

Over the last month or so I’ve been trying to figure out how I would honor you on the anniversary of your passing. Last year we ate all of your favorite desserts, the original bag of Lays, released balloons, and reminisced about the good old days. I had planned to have a big family outdoor gathering but let’s just say my landscaper was being slack and these grandchildren of yours eat too much, so I couldn’t fork out that grocery bill right now. So I was left with feeling disappointed I couldn’t find the “right” way to be intentional on honoring you.

And then it dawned on me when I received a text message from Cherise and later on one from Tyesha…

Cherise and her husband received an invitation to a very important gala with law enforcement, public officials, government officials, and other prominent dignitaries. She had asked if I had anything she could wear because at such short notice she didn’t have anything she could put her hands on to match the occasion, and she thought of you!

You see Cherise had been invited to the 2023 Empowerment Peace Walk in which she read a poem that left everyone in tears. Her words were so authentic and real. Mom you wouldn’t believe how powerful Cherise is, I mean Cherise has always stood out don’t get me wrong and had such a beautiful singing voice. Well guess what mom her public speaking voice, written voice, and servant leader voice are just as angelic as her singing voice.

Cherise mentioned that her girls still have and wear some of the items you gave them when she stayed in Ames Manor. Can you believe that? Macie was a little pint size gal at that time; she has grown up and is moving mountains as she shares her moms testimony and as she shares her knowledge and love for God at school and at after school. And Cherise and her husband have a fifth baby girl, Terranie, you would just love her. She has a smile that would melt your heart too and such kind eyes.

When I received the text message I thought how fun it would have been for us to search for the perfect dress for Cherise. I know you mom, you would have asked her if she needed shoes, accessories, and a clutch to match. You were always the fashion diva! You styled so many people. To think you loved decorating, shopping, designing, and coordinating that you did all of those things at the Store of Hope (so fitting for you to work somewhere with that name) and for everyone around you. The boys and I get a kick out of the outfits they wear where they can courageously say “grandma brought me this!”

A dress that I had got from one of your favorite stores that was originally intended for Jasmines wedding care to mind, I knew it would be the perfect dress.

And then later on Tyesha texted me and asked me how much I charged to make vegetarian meals for her. She enjoyed the chicken and spinach Alfredo lasagna I made for the church and wanted a personal pan without the meat. I was honored she asked me and from the conversation we had later on via phone, I was humbled by the task given to me.

Mama can you believe on March 1st, it marked two years we had become homeowners. WOW, how time flies! I mean I remembered those long trips back and fourth to MUSC and having to stop by the bank or the office so I could fax or scan stuff over to NACA (boy am I happy to have that process behind me). And even in that, mom you sacrificed, you supported me, you gave good advice, and you encouraged me to keep on pushing until I got my keys.

Do you remember the day I came home with the keys? You smiled so brightly. You wrote how proud you were of me and you started writing about where your room was. I still haven’t repurposed that room because it was too painful to walk in it, knowing you wouldn’t be there.

And then the neatest thing happened ma! While I was cooking for the church on Wednesday I saw the most beautiful ladybug on my window seal in the kitchen. Whenever I am sad, discouraged, confused, or overwhelmed I will always see a ladybug or red bird that remind me you and daddy are still here, even if by spirit.

So here is how Cherise and Tyesha tie in to this mom. I know by now you are probably saying, “Whitnee’ get to the point.” The point I’m trying to make is by me cooking for the church on Wednesday which marked my two year home anniversary (I cooked at home verses in the church like I normally do), Thursday I got the clothes for Cherise and her gala, and then on Saturday I’ll be making two meals for Tyesha…all these things are things you would have done or been so eager to help me in anyway you could.

Cherise and Tyesha gave me the perfect “gifts!” They gave me the gift of service. What better way to honor you than by making myself available to other people. You would always say “focus on helping others and God will take care of you.” Mom I’ve been living by that motto and it was pure wisdom. Thank you so much for the jewels you left me that I can pass on to your grandchildren.

I’m choosing to honor you by walking in your footsteps of putting others first and allowing God to use me to help others. I choose to walk in your footsteps by providing clothes when I can…thanks to Jasmine and others I have a smaller scale “clothes closet” that I maintain and it makes me feel so close to you like when we worked together at NST. I haven’t been active in the baskets for the High Rise but Regis gives our care baskets. You would be proud of him mom, he finally decided to grow up and start being a man. Thank goodness because I was not about to baby my big brother, you know I wasn’t mom- that’s not in me.

To put the icing on the cake we will have a cupcake in your honor on Saturday and just go with the flow. I think I got so caught up on what to do verses remembering what’s important and honoring what you stood for and focusing not so much on the literal things, but putting the focus on whom we serve.

Don’t forget to do good and to share what you have because God is pleased with these kinds of sacrifices.

Hebrews 13:16

I promise to honor you my sweet mother by demonstrating God’s love to all I cross paths with and by serving God with every breath I take. I promise to honor you by leaning on God and not my own understanding when I get weary. I promise to uplift the broken hearted and help the needy just like you would. I promise to always try to be kind and generous but speak the truth in love and hold people accountable and in correction when need be. I promise to use my words for good just like you did. I promise to love like God loves me. I promise to be the best person I can be and forgive myself when I make mistakes and set realistic expectations and expectations for myself. I promise to laugh more, love more, and grow in grace. I promise to be open hearted and not selfish like you’ve always been. I promise to try and be more understanding and a better daughter to God than I was to you. I promise to serve God and keep Him first in my life. I promise to love you and cherish your legacy of love, commitment, sacrifice, service, fashion, and ministry until we meet again.

Mom I pray that I got the right nudge from God through Cherise and Tyesha by honoring you in this way. I promise to do this daily, not just once a year because you weren’t the once a year type of gal.

I love you mama, until we meet again. Happy 2 year anniversary in Heaven (officially 3/4) tell daddy and Megan I love them and to save a space for me.