Whitnee's journey with Christ

🎶 Ready or not, here I come, you can’t hide
Gonna find you and take it slowly
Ready or not (Uh-huh), here I come, you can’t hide 
Gonna find you and make you want me (Yo) 🎶 

Lyrics from Ready or Not by The Fugees 

The closer we get to the New Year, many folks are cleaning out their closets, clearing the garage, emptying items they no longer need out of the attic, and just tidying up a bit. That was my plan, but then I had a shift and everything since has been rerouted to make sure I complete this “internal audit.” I figured the baggage I’ve been carrying this year is far more detrimental to my health than the physical components of my house. I realized my priorities and my focus have been all jacked up so God has brought clarity to me and this cleansing process is healing past hurts, empty promises, negative thoughts, dormant memories, etc. I don’t know about you but this matters more than trying to clean up shop at the house before the clock strikes midnight tomorrow.

My Beautiful friend wrote me this morning and said, “In general, if as women we’d love ourselves as much as we love others….”

If I loved Whitnee’ half as much as I loved EACH OF YOU, I don’t know where I would be right now? I don’t have regrets nor am I overly concerned about it because I know everything I’ve gone through or faced this year God allowed for a specific purpose.

While cleaning my house is A MUST in order for me not to feel like we should be on an episode of Sanford & Son and we will get to it (not procrastinating like I used to trying to avoid the tall task, but just realizing it’s more important and pressing things I need to handle). We clean our house we go through the motions of following tradition to make sure we make space for new things, friends and family BUT when we keep putting off that “self assessment” we find ourselves missing the mark. We found ourselves feeling used up, dried up, depleted, and pouring from an empty cup. I thank God for His nourishment because I’ve been pouring from an empty cup since June. I thank God that the “refilling” process started on this past Friday and I’m going to be consistent until my cup runneth over!

This morning as I was preparing myself to pour out my heart in this blog I started to look at the characteristics of a horse. You may ask why a horse? Well fun fact, I love horses! I love their strength, their speed, always growing, their sleep pattern is adaptive (they can sleep both standing up and lying down, their beauty, their keen sense of smell and hearing, naturally driven to move, their overall temperament, and the fact that the foals can walk and run within hours of being born. And so as I was studying their characteristics I started to compare myself to them but I didn’t pull out the same traits of the horse that I love about them- no there words that stood out to me that I realized in order for me to thrive in this new season, these traits have to get cleaned out or spruced up in my self assessment. Words like driven by domestication, strong flight-or-flight response, need for constant movement for their safety, live in groups for protection, strict social hierarchy, and continuous grazing. As I thought of myself, some of this very unsettling (without going into grave detail so I don’t take too much of your time) just know there were red flags.

After looking up information on horses, I started looking up the characteristics of gazelles. I’ve always loved gazelles too! Gazelles are excellent runners, their graceful, they live in herds for protection, they prefer open savannas, grasslands, deserts, they adapt to their diets seasonally, they are quite poetic if you think about it.

I came to the realization that the traditional way I’ve been operating similar to that of a domesticated animal (I.e. cat, dog, guinea pig, horse, donkey; chicken, pig) is not working for me anymore. I told Rico yesterday that I am tired of being “tamed” and I’m ready to walk on the wild side! I’m not talking about turning into a savage beast BUT I know the days of being people’s doormat (they took my kindness for weakness and definitely took me for granted) are history.

Society has trained women or maybe just in my culture (so please do not take offense if this is not your case, I am speaking from personal experience) but we can be thoroughly domesticated creatures. I am no one’s house pet! I will not allow anyone to make a donkey out of me when all I was doing was being gracious to people, but they abused it. Daddy always said, “a person will not do but what you allowed,” so shame on me for allowing it. But you know the saying, “when you know better, you do better.”

Ready or not….HERE I COME!!!!!

I wonder how it was back in the day being a rebel? My old supervisor used to call me a militant midget 😂. Guess what?! I am she!!!! I am militant 😂 maybe that’s a fun fact some folks didn’t know but I do know how to control it without conforming to the ways of other people. And that’s why I’m so grateful because I had to just tighten up some loose ends. I had to create boundaries and establish protocols so I don’t change who I am.

Have you completed a self assessment or is your focus on cleaning out your closet? Have you found things, habits, or characteristics about yourself that you feel are “too domesticated?” How do you plan to change?

Can I tell you something? It’s going to be fun not being so predictable, controlled, and tamed. As I walk into this new season I look forward to strengthening my faith, gaining confidence, pouring into Whitnee’, looking into culinary and pastry classes, taking the steps to become an Evangelist or even a Minister, digging deeper into God’s word, letting my hair down, following my natural instinct, SAYING NO, not living off of other people’s timetable, not focusing on trying to fix other people problems that created and neglected, and stepping to the untamed and wild territories of the endless possibilities of abundant blessings found in Christ.

I wonder what untamed animal you would be? I would want to be like a mustang, lion, tiger, or bear! Or maybe a Komodo dragon, eagle, leopard, gorilla, or octopus. So many cool possibilities.

Well that’s enough of “Whitnee’s Animal Kingdom chronicles,” 😂 let’s get down to Scripture.

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

1 You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.
2  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4  Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely.
5  You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me.
6  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7  Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8  If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9  If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10  even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
11  If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,”
12  even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13  For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
15  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16  Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
17  How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them!
18  Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.
19  If only you, God, would slay the wicked! Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20  They speak of you with evil intent; your adversaries misuse your name.
21  Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22  I have nothing but hatred for them; I count them my enemies.
23  Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Psalm 139 NIV 

In the Book of Jeremiah the question is asked: Can anyone hide himself in secret places, so shall I not see him? I’m so grateful that the God I serve fills Heaven and Earth and He sees high and looks low. I’m so happy that underneath my smile, underneath my writing, underneath my working (Full time, part time, passion of Spry’s Durty Kitchen, Dolly’s House), being a mom, being a friend, etc. there was a pain that was causing a gaping hole that leading to a burn out. Not because I have to much on my plate, but because I neglected what Whitnee’ needed and Whitnee’ wants for far too long. I’ve put the needs of others above my own desires and I got lost behind the busyness of life and within the confinement of an inconvenient “bubble.”

🎶…I’ve no time to wait and sigh
No patience to wait til by and by 
Kiss me quick, I’m off, goodbye! 
Pop! Goes the weasel! 🎶 

On the 30th day of December in the year of 2025, I am happy to say I’ve found my resting place beneath the shadow of the Lord’s wings. Thank you Heavenly Father for allowing me to have refuge in You.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty…He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.” Psalm 91:1-4

How precious is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of Your wings. Psalm 36:7

Christmas Eve going into Christmas morning I found myself not being able to understand why certain things were happening and couldn’t quite make sense of all the abdominal and pelvic pain I was experiencing. I couldn’t get in to see Dr. Johnson but I’m so glad the Great Physician Himself heard my prayers and heard my cry.

I loved Whitnee’ before but I’m excited to LOVE, LOVE, LOVE on me intensely, intentionally, consistently, and prioritizing being a better version of myself. God is freeing me from what I’ve been battling internally (the loss of my mom, past hurt, self doubt, insecurity, the desires to want to control things, fear of the unknown, scarceness, shame of going without, and self neglect) and I am more open that I have EVER BEEN to receive His indescribable gift and I KNOW I AM WORTHY despite my mistakes and shortcomings of His love, peace, grace and mercy.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting. 

Psalm 139:23-24 

My brothers and sisters as we begin to close the chapter called 2025, it is my earnest desire and plea that you take the time to again pause, breathe, be still, focus, and reset. I pray that as you clean out your closets, empty your garage, and spruce up around the house making room for friends and family in 2026 that you don’t neglect the things within you that need to be released and freed in order to produce a better version of yourself. 🥂 to GOD in 2026! Lord go before us and guide the way, and we will be so thankful and careful to follow You! Amen.

Be blessed.