Whitnee's journey with Christ

🎶 I've had my share of ups and downs
Times when there was no one around
God came and spoke these words to me
Praise will confuse the enemy
I've had my share of ups and downs
Times when there was no one around (God came and spoke)
God came and spoke these words to me (praise will)
Praise will confuse the enemy (so I started singing)
I started singing (oh), I started clapping (oh), I started dancing
People were laughing (people were laughing)
They knew my problems (they knew my problems)
They knew my pain (they knew my pain)
But I knew God (but I knew God would take them away)
Oh-ooh-oh
Hear me sing that verse one more time, listen, listen, it says
I've had my share of ups and downs
Times when there was no one around
God came and spoke these words to me (praise will)
Praise will confuse the enemy (so I started singing)
I started singing (oh), I started clapping (oh), I started dancing
People were laughing (people were laughing)
'Cause they knew my problems (they knew my problems)
And they knew my pain (they knew my pain)
But I knew God (but I knew God would take them away), that's why
That's why I praise Him with my hands (hm)
That's why I praise Him with a dance (oh)
He's given me a second chance
Come on, let's praise Him in advance
That's why I praise Him with a song
When things are right and when things go wrong (when things are right and when they're wrong)
He's given me a second chance
Come on, let's praise Him in advance
Praise Him (praise Him)
Come on in here (praise Him)
Open your mind (praise Him)
Bless the Lord (praise Him)
Praise Him (praise Him)
Come on, praise (praise Him)
Come on and praise Him (praise Him in advance)
Everybody praise Him? (Praise Him)
Open your mouth (praise Him)
Give Him glory (praise Him)
Tell your story (praise Him)
Bless His name (praise Him)
Come on (praise Him)
Everybody praise Him in advance
Praise Him (praise Him)
In the good times (praise Him)
Praise Him (praise Him)
When things are going wrong (praise Him)
Praise Him (praise Him)
Help me in here (praise Him)
Come on and praise (praise Him in advance), oh
Praise Him (praise Him)
He is worthy (praise Him)
Come on in here (praise Him)
For my life (for my life), I will (praise Him)
Praise Him in advance
Oh, praise Him (praise Him)
When things are good (praise Him)
Praise Him (praise Him)
Trouble on every side (praise Him)
And when I'm broke (when I'm broke), I will (praise Him)
Praise Him in advance
Oh, oh-oh (oh-oh), oh-oh (oh-oh), oh-oh (oh-oh)
Oh-oh (oh-oh), oh-oh (oh-oh), oh-oh-oh-oh
Come on and praise Him in advance (come on)
Oh-oh (oh-oh), oh-oh (oh-oh), oh-oh (oh-oh)
Oh-oh (oh-oh), oh-oh-oh-oh
Come on and (praise Him in advance)
Oh, oh-oh (oh-oh), oh-oh (oh-oh), oh-oh-oh (oh-oh)
Oh-oh (oh-oh), oh-oh-oh-oh
Come on and (praise Him in advance)
One more time, one more time, oh-oh (oh-oh)
Sometimes, I don't know the words to say (oh-oh)
I say oh-oh (oh-oh), oh-oh (oh-oh), oh-oh-oh-oh
Come on and praise Him in advance 🎶 

Lyrics from Marvin Sapp song entitled, Praise Him in Advance

Like everyone I have had my share of ups and downs this year. I’ve shed plenty of tears, had very trying times, had moments when I felt weak, had plenty of good times too! All in all everything that I’ve gone through this year has taught me a lesson. And out of those lessons I’ve learned that no matter if situations happened that came to break me or make me, God was right beside me every step of the way. He allowed certain moments to happen that really deepened my dependence on Him. All in all I am glad that God is allowing me to finish what He started!

This year I’m not looking to post things or concern myself with New Year Resolutions. I’m not worrying myself for setting unattainable goals or ridiculous deadlines setting myself up for failure from the jump. No I’m not focusing on what needs to be in my bank account, what the scale should read, how many awards and accolades I should obtain, I’m not even focusing on what lies ahead anymore. I won’t psych myself out by comparing my growth to anyone or by listening to other peoples opinions on how I should move or what my life should look like. I’m silencing the noise because truth be told, as humans we invest too much off our energy on other peoples opinions. It’s like walking outside to check my mail; who cares if I’m not wearing a bra? Who cares if my pajama pants look like they are painted on? Does it matter? I couldn’t care less and that is so freeing to me!

I’m so sick and tired of “coloring within the lines” and putting on a certain face hiding my true feelings just to make other people happy. I’m so sick of being who everyone expects me to be so you know what I’m just going to do and be me! And I’ve come to terms with the fact some folks won’t like this new approach I have and frankly I DONT care. Not being rude, but just being real! I’m going into this next season of life without a push up bra (how my girls sit is exactly how they are going to fall), I’m not wearing a panty girdle just to control my hips from shaking (bring out your tambourine and dance to this beat), I’m continuing not to wear make up because my face is my face scars, dark spots, blemishes and all (unless I’m trying to be a doll for the evening), and I’m definitely wearing more leggings and stretchy pants because they are so comfy.

I guess some are asking what has gotten into Whitnee’ lately? She seems so different. It must be the kids? Or probably Rico done did something again? Maybe she isn’t taking her vitamins or getting enough rest? Hahahahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha!!!!

Whitnee’ woke up and finally started to give myself flowers instead of tidying up other people’s roses while my own garden has been slowly dying. I have been getting rest which is helping me to think clearly, freely, and just be! So unorthodox right?! I’m in such a beautiful place and so I now have the courage, strength, power, and motivation to finish strong!

Bills still the same (high), the boys still aggravating and always asking for stuff (I love them deeply and affect them just as they are), Rico still snores, has stank feet, and leaves urine on the toilet seat and blames it on the kids, car still broke, Coco still barking, house still needs to get cleaned, and I’m still waiting on Micah to clean his room BUT God is still good and I couldn’t be happier!

I didn’t realize how being on fumes since June could really have this looming cloud over my head. It’s like I’ve had this motor running in me so long that I was conditioned to how I should think, speak, eat, respond, react, heck even the times of the day I should use the restroom. Like I said the other day the road I was headed down, I literally would have crashed and burned. It wasn’t sustainable. It’s like I was living for other people, trying to do and be my best for them, and repeating what I said yesterday- totally neglecting Whitnee’. How long can one pour from an empty cup before they wake up? Some people unfortunately don’t realize it until they are six feet under and people are throwing dirt on their graves. Thank God, He allowed time to slow down and He allowed me to get the best rest I’ve gotten since I was an adult.

Being in survival mode 24/7 you really never stop to just be! Let’s be honest you so worried about your lights getting cut off, trying to figure out where your next meal coming from, etc. that you are just going through the motions and floating in the air while skating on thin ice. God allowed my ice to break, and I fell in but I’m not coming out like I went in.

26 Nebuchadnezzar then approached the opening of the blazing furnace and shouted, “Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out! Come here!”

So Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego came out of the fire, 27 and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.

28 Then Nebuchadnezzar said, “Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, who has sent his angel and rescued his servants! They trusted in him and defied the king’s command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God. 29 Therefore I decree that the people of any nation or language who say anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into piles of rubble, for no other god can save in this way.”

30 Then the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego in the province of Babylon.

Daniel 3:26-30

My sister told me that this epiphany or reckoning I’ve had is the BEST GIFT I could give myself and the ones I love! And I wholeheartedly agree with her. I can be present where it truly matters. I can show up and show support in areas where the busyness of life held me captive. I can actually slow down and enjoy the fruits of my labor and smile accepting things just as they are.

Is this how it feels after smoking a blunt? I mean I tried it before, but all it gave me was heartburn and the munchies. I say this to say, I AM FREE, PRAISE THE LORD I AM FREE! It feels good to stop wishing and hoping upon of a star, waiting for a financial breakthrough to come, waiting for the abdominal and pelvic pain to stop, praying for God to open that door or answer that pray AND JUST BE!

When I was a little girl I always used to clip photos out of magazines and make collages of white men (I used to love me a white man up until I met Rico lol- they just didn’t love me), skinny light skin or white girls (I am not skinny nor am I white or light skinned), beautiful pearly white teeth without a gap or an overbite (I have both), convertible cars, horses, white picket fences, and everything. I was so wrapped up in a fairy tale over the years I tried to change who God created me to be instead of just embracing it!

Faith always would say, “I love your gap, you not getting it closed.” Rico would always say, “BaBez you are Beautiful just the way you are!” Rolling me since first grade, I would expect Faith to say that. Being the Mother of 3 of Rico kids and his wife for 18 years, I expected him to say that BUT never in a million years did I ever think I would FINALLY accept the Whitnee’ with the gap, a few gray strands of hair from stressing over my Dispatch days, dark neck, XL top, 16/18W in pants, fat feet, stubby hands, more stretch marks then you can count on a family of 5 hands and feet, and dark skin. I’m so happy I love who I am and my smile genuinely reflects that I am God’s daughter, I am His perfect creation, I have a big heart, I LOVE, Love, LOVE people, I celebrate life, I don’t hold grudges, I’m easy to forgive, and I am a work in progress that knows I need Jesus. I am perfectly imperfect and I am just fine!!!! From where I stand, I am finishing better and stronger than I started! And for that I celebrate and thank God!

I want to share a few biblical principles for finishing strong:

• Always have a grateful heart.
• Always thank God.
• Keep the faith.
• Trust God and His process.
• Never believe you are being punished, but look at the lesson in every situation.
• Grow through hurt.
• Don’t settle.
• Don’t become complacent.
• Expect better but be thankful for you have.
• Practice self control.
• Exercise discipline.
• Listen to your gut.
• Be quiet and open your heart to listen to God’s voice.
• Don’t ever doubt God.
• Focus on Jesus and not your problems.
• Stop blaming everyone for everything that goes wrong in your life.
• Run with vigor and endurance.
• Finish what God started.

Jamika told me a few weeks ago she was happy to see me finally posting pictures of myself. She noticed the change and I am happy she acknowledged the shift in my attitude. I spent so much time hiding behind the words written for InspirationAllAroundMe, hiding behind the scenes of Spry’s Durty Kitchen, being in the shadow of Dolly’s House and whatever else I could hide behind. I would avoid being in certain places because I don’t like the light on me and that definitely won’t change now that I’ve finally gained some confidence in WHO I AM NOW! Boy let me tell you, as I walk into this new season of life and strive to be the person God created me to be while accepting who I am in Christ LET ME TELL YOU, I’m going to be a force to be reckoned with YOU HEAR ME?!

You know the tall dude that went viral to the song HYPE ME UP?

As I finish this year strong, closing the chapter while being grateful for every page in this book called life, I stand ten toes down and let you know now that I’ll be the one eating in the new season and though I know every day not going to be all smiles and giggles I’m content because I know whose hands and loving arms I’m in! Thank you Heavenly Father!!!!!

I know I’ve been cutting up and having a jovial yet sarcastic sense of humor in this blog post, so now let’s get down to business.

The Bible tells us in Philippians 1:6, being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. So what does that mean? It means the God I serve is faithful to finish what He started. Hebrews 12:1-2 says, Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking onto Jesus, the author and the finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I can’t begin to end this year in regret, because God has been too good to me. He has kept me through it all and I’m so thankful to know He has kept you too. I look forward to God’s promises and His reward in this new season and I look forward to growth and obedience living a more disciplined yet fun life in 2026.

My brothers and sisters in Christ, I extend to you the same charge that I received from my beautiful friend in Florida, FINISH STRONG! Take a moment to pause. Breathe. Rest. Reset. Look forward to the new things God is doing in and through you. Trust God. Dance in the rain. Reflect. Commit to God. Grow in faith. Head up, chest out, and go with the wind!

Be blessed!